Today, I’m kind of sad. I have so many amazing paintings and nowhere to put any of them. I started setting them up around the perimeter of Coby’s shop. He says he doesn’t mind, but I can’t help thinking that someday soon, he will. Even though I have a job now, and I love being the receptionist at Community, I can’t help thinking it isn’t enough. I’ve started paying them rent, because I can’t shake the feeling that something will happen. They always give it back, but I always keep trying.
Liam watched Libby from a distance. He was parked down the street in his rental car, disguised in a gray winter hat and brown coat. Leave it to Jess and Coby to allow all their blinds up when they left home. Liam watched her write in her journal, close it, and grab the keys off the counter. It impressed and angered him that she had gone behind his back and learned to drive. On the one hand, she was showing some initiative and not being so lazy, but on the other, it was just plain dishonest. He was going to have to give her a talking-to, and then take her home. That was all there was to it. At least she and Emily had chosen the smallest town.
It hadn’t been that hard to track down Libby. Stowe was a tourist town, so not only did everybody know everybody, but also his rented red Honda wouldn’t stick out. He had stayed the last few nights at the bed and breakfast where Jess worked. That was purely by God’s intervention. It was perfectly planned, because it gave Liam the opportunity to follow Jess home, once Liam learned that his sister lived with the Walkers now.
However, Liam hadn’t made himself known yet. He was going to wait until he calmed down. He was still angry about the 200 dollars he had spent on a flight to New Hampshire, the 150 dollars he spent renting the car for a week and the money for the room. In addition, he had given Libby a lot of money for this trip and so far, she wasn’t even acting grateful. He was going to insist she pay him back. All that would have been bad enough, but Liam also had to factor in the time it was taking. He had to take off work for a week, leaving the small group leaders to lead youth group at church, and people who probably didn’t even care about the kids to make sure the Boys and Girls Club was running smoothly. Libby hadn’t even bothered to come home for Thanksgiving!
Liam took a deep breath, steadying himself. He knew from his interviews around town that Libby had just gotten a job as a receptionist at that local church that wasn’t based on sound doctrine. Liam knew because he had gone to their website. She worked until one o’clock in the afternoon, and then returned home.
He overheard a conversation in the driveway that morning, too. Coby had a handyman job that was going to last until at least six o’clock that night.
“Would you mind watching Christian until Jess gets home tonight?” Coby had asked out the window of his car. “I wouldn’t normally ask, but I’ve got a late job and I know Emily’s busy, and Jess won’t be home until around supper.”
“No, I don’t mind at all. I can go pick him up at 2:30.”
Liam made a note to himself:
1-2 PM window.
Then, he drove back to pack his things. On the way, he scowled seeing Nathaniel out walking a homely looking black and white puppy with that Cary. Word had it that after all these years; Nathaniel was still washing dishes like he had in college. Cary, appropriately, was working at some bar - encouraging drunkenness. Liam knew that if you opened yourself up to one sin, others would follow. He couldn’t imagine corrupting good people He didn’t know what Nathaniel saw in him. Sure, there were the freckles and the dark hair, and the blue eyes…not that Liam was gay or anything. He would never allow that kind of sin in his life. He would kill himself first.
But Liam smiled as he walked in the room, finding it neat and tidy. He imagined Jess unknowingly cleaning it. Folding his pajamas, making the bed, and replacing all the used towels with fresh ones. That made him feel so much better. Jess, despite her faults, always had been good at taking care of people. He packed a few things in his bag, but didn’t check out of the room yet, in case of unforeseen circumstances.
Since he had some time to kill before the magic hour, Liam decided to stop by the mercantile, incognito of course. He walked in, keeping his head down, and pretended to browse, just to be close enough to hear Morgan’s voice.
“Thank you, and have a nice day,” she said to a customer behind him. Liam felt his chest swelling with love and betrayal all at once. He wished she would say that to him. He wished she would say anything to him, but so far, she had been cold and rude. Not like her old self at all. He wouldn’t be surprised if she was back on drugs already. It was really no wonder that Jonathan drug tested her.
Their house hadn’t been hard to find either. Yesterday, after he got over his jet lag, Liam had Tour Day. He talked to the townspeople and found out where everyone lived, asking them not to say anything because it was a surprise. This morning, when Liam didn’t see a car in Morgan’s drive, he had invited himself in. Everybody in Stowe was either naïve or stupid. They kept their doors unlocked so that anybody could get in. Therefore, Liam made himself at home.
He made himself a sandwich and then walked through the house until he found the bedroom. Liam wrinkled his brow. This room looked like a man slept here. It was neat as a pin. Finally, he caught sight of Jonathan’s hat hanging on the bedpost. If they were already living together, why wouldn’t they share a room? Or maybe, Morgan did sleep here, but he didn’t let her keep any of her stuff where people could see it.
Liam scowled. Then he went in and checked the drawers in his bedside table. He found a day planner, with a random day in each month circled and the word, test written in small letters. Liam went to the restroom and opened the medicine cabinet. There were Jon’s migraine pills just sitting there where Morgan could steal them. Liam shook his head. Jonathan was a bad boyfriend. He not only tempted her, he didn’t even trust her to stay clean. Liam saw the at-home barbiturate drug test right in the cabinet and shook his head, disapproving it.
Then, he darted into the bathroom and smelled her Hawaiian Lei body wash. Since Morgan and Jon weren’t due back for several hours, he took a shower using the body wash and ignoring Jonathan’s Old Spice High Endurance. He used the Suave shampoo that seemed to be mutual, and then finished, using a modest amount of Morgan’s Kukui Nut conditioning shampoo with Pacific Mist fragrance. It would have been cloying on anyone else, but on Morgan, it was perfect. And on him, it was, too.
When he was done, Liam never felt cleaner.
Last, he had gone to Morgan’s room. The first thing he did was take a deep breath. It smelled like her, and made tears come to his eyes. First, he went to her closet and inhaled the scent of all of her clothes. Then, he lay in her bed, imagining her in it, too. He flipped through her journal, looking for any mention of him, but there wasn’t. Liam discovered this was a shared journal with Jonathan after a few pages. Then, he wanted to throw up.
He turned on her computer and updated his online status:
William Wright is really missing people right now and wishing things could be different.
He had added a sad face with a tear and was going to shut everything down when he glanced at his watch. He realized Jonathan would be home soon on his lunch break.
Now, he was stuck simply hearing Morgan’s voice at a distance.
“Can I help you find anything?” Morgan asked, approaching him, and Liam jumped.
“No, thank you ma’am, I was just leaving,” he answered in a gruff voice. He hoped she wouldn’t remember all the times that he imitated the antagonist from The Rescuers Down Under. Then, he hurried out to his car.
--
Libby was going to have to hurry if she was going to make it home in time to pick up Christian. Just her luck that Emily would need her to help hang posters in the youth room and Bernice the sweet elderly lady would stop by “just to chat” and end up leaving two hours later. That didn’t even count the phone calls she handled. There were appointments to schedule, an angry parishioner to calm and plenty of people who wanted to sign up for the Messiah Sing, which made Libby excited. Christmas was only a few weeks away, which meant the Messiah Sing was even closer.
She hurried home, driving carefully to avoid an accident on the snow-covered, slippery roads. Libby pulled in the drive and walked down to the mailbox. Christmas cards were arriving every day, with beautiful New England scenes. Libby pulled out a handful of letters, closed the box and started back toward the house.
“What are you doing back so late?!” a voice accused her.
Libby turned, shocked to see her brother standing behind her. This was her worst nightmare come true.
“What are you doing here?” she stuttered. She glanced down at her watch, and bit her lip. It was somehow only a quarter after one, and Libby wished it was later. Wished she had some excuse, like picking up Christian, to fall back on.
Somehow, she thought that after doing the interview for Backward Glance, Liam would look different to her. More duplicitous, after using their suffering to get his own face and message out to the public, painting himself as the hero and them as villains.
But he just looked so hurt by her reaction, staring at her as if it shocked him. That got to Libby. As often as they didn’t get along, she never liked to hurt people, intentionally or otherwise.
“I came to see you. I wanted it to be a surprise, so I asked around, and someone said you were going to be home by one.” he said, sounding disappointed in his own behavior. “Look, I didn’t mean to overreact, I just missed you. Can I come in? Can we just talk for a few minutes?”
“Sure,” Libby said, relaxing. If he had traveled all this way to say hi, the least she could do was to be hospitable. She unlocked the door and invited him inside.
“Do you want something to eat?” Libby said, inviting him downstairs. They were set up well, with a microwave and a small refrigerator. She did her best not to eat Jess and Coby’s food unless she was invited, even though they both told her it was no big deal.
“Sure. What have you got?” he asked, peering into the tiny freezer. “Ooh, California Pizza Kitchen barbecue chicken?! You weren’t saving this, were you?” he asked hopefully.
“No, don’t worry,” Libby laughed. “It’s yours. So how are you? When did you get here? Where are you staying?”
This once, Libby found herself glad he was here. She did love her brother, and even missed having him around.
“I’m good now,” Liam said, reclining on the couch that looked more like a porch swing. He heard something crack beneath him and lifted the cushion to see Libby’s cell phone in pieces. He put the cushion back. He didn’t want to ruin the moment by telling her he broke her phone. They were having a nice time.
She got out the pizza and put it on a paper plate.
“Do you want something to drink? Water? Mountain Dew? That’s pretty much all we have, sorry,” she apologized.
“No, Mountain Dew is great,” Liam insisted. “So, you girls have a nice set-up down here. Can I have a tour?”
Liam had eaten the pizza in less than five minutes. It was that delicious. Libby had done most of the cooking back home, and before that, Jon and Nathaniel. Lately, he had been too depressed to eat, with the anniversary and everybody leaving him.
He followed her from room to room, looking in the bathroom to see it clean and colorful, with a nautical theme like the family room. Libby and Emily’s room was like a beachfront resort, and he could see Jess’s personal touches everywhere.
“What’s in there?” he asked, looking at the closed door in the laundry room as they passed it.
Libby shrugged. “Nothing, just another spare bedroom Coby’s cleaning out. There used to be weights in there or something. See?” she asked, pushing the door open.
The floor was littered with sawdust and a big wooden structure sat in the middle of the room. Various random tools Libby didn’t recognize were scattered around. There were sawhorses and cans of paint, and pieces of wood everywhere. A full-length mirror was still mounted on one wall. Libby imagined Coby, Christian, and maybe even Jess, checking out their muscles after working out. The thought made her smile.
“I’m so glad we’re leaving tonight,” Liam sighed, relieved. It hadn’t taken long for Liam to realize this would be easier than he thought. Libby missed him. She was obviously sorry. He would take her home with him and welcome her back, just like the father had done with his prodigal son.
Libby turned slowly. “We, who?” she asked confused. “Who are you leaving with?”
“You,” Liam said, as if it was obvious to anyone.
“Liam, I’m not leaving,” Libby said, sure of herself. “I have a job here. I have a life. I’ve been here over a month--”
“--Which is long enough for you to find yourself, or whatever it is you’re doing,” Liam cut her off. “Now, it’s time to go home and face reality.”
Libby planted her feet. “This is my reality, Liam. I’m happy here. My friends are here. We can rely on each other, and I’m not looked at like some weirdo, like I was back home. Everybody who does is just passing through anyway. I need to be out on my own.”
Liam’s eyes narrowed. “You know, I wasn’t going to do this,” he said taking a step toward her. “But do you know how upset Mom and Dad were that you didn’t come home on Thanksgiving? That you didn’t even call? I had to tell them that you lied to me and were off on some journey to find yourself. Oh, by the way? I had better get every one of the two-hundred dollars I gave you for your trip!” he spat.
“What are you talking about?” she asked, backing up. “You said that was a gift.”
“Not if it was based on a lie!” he exploded. “You’re lucky I’m not asking you for the thousand dollars I spent on you! And more that I’m out by not going to work this week!”
Libby reached in her pocket for her phone, but couldn’t find it, and swore quietly to herself. Just her luck that the one time she needed it, it wasn’t here. “Okay, you need to leave. You’re acting crazy. I’m not going with you. End of story.”
She turned, intent on leading the way back upstairs, but before she knew what was happening, Liam had grabbed a handful of her hair and jerked her back into the room.
Libby fought the flashback that came every time her hair was pulled. The one of Buddy wrenching her out from under the table by her hair and pulling her to the front of the empty study room before he touched her. Before he slapped her. Before he tried to break her.
“You think you call the shots now?!” Liam screamed, shoving her into the wall. When she tried to run, he grabbed her hair again, yanking forcefully and landing a well-placed punch to her stomach.
“Stop! Please stop!” Libby begged, knowing even now that she would never say what he wanted to hear. She would never agree to go back.
“Are you going home with me?” he asked in a controlled tone. He didn’t make a move toward her, or raise a hand.
Libby shook her head, and didn’t have time to brace for the blow that knocked her head back. Blood poured from her nose as Liam continued to scream at her and berate her.
“You’re nothing but a little whore anyway!” His fist landed again and again. She felt the impact on her face, her stomach, her back. “And you wonder why that son-of-a-bitch hurt you? Because he could smell it on you! That you’d already been with somebody else!”
Libby didn’t have the breath to deny it. “I saw you, Libby! I saw him touch you when we played at his house! And those abusers?! They can tell when you’ve let it happen before!” With each word, there came another blow. “You were a little girl! He was a grown man! Do you know how wrong that is?!” With the last question, Liam heaved her up, and propelled her against a wall.
Libby didn’t see the mirror, but she felt it. It sliced into her arms as it shattered. Though she cried and begged him to stop, Libby drew strength from her friends. From Nathaniel who dealt with verbal and physical abuse his whole life from classmates, and from Buddy. From Morgan who offered herself in Nathaniel and Libby’s place. If they could take that, she could take this.
“You are not in charge!” Liam whispered breathlessly, twisting her arm painfully behind her back. “Are you?” he asked in her ear.
“Take your hands off me!” she screamed.
When he dragged her toward the door - one arm around her neck and the other hand over her mouth - Libby fought. She tried to scream, and when he pressed harder, she bit down on his hand until she tasted blood.
--
Now, Liam was angrier than he had ever been in his whole life.
“You probably gave me some disease!” he exclaimed, flinging her away from him, and ignoring when she into the scrap woodpile, striking her head on the floor.
Liam was about ready to really let her have it, when he heard something.
--
“Libby?” Christian called.
It was sure a good thing that he and his dad worked out who could take him home in case something came up, like forgetting on accident, or an emergency. He got a ride home from his friend’s mom. He nodded that it was okay for her to go, because he saw Libby’s car parked on the side of the driveway.
She was here somewhere, because he smelled pizza, and the mail flag was down.
“Libby, it’s Christian!” he called, in case she didn’t know.
He walked slowly down the stairs, smelling the pizza smell stronger and stronger.
--
Liam had to get out of here. The little kid was home. But he had to do one more thing.
With his injured hand wrapped in the bottom of his shirt, Liam made quick work of locating the electrical tape on the windowsill. He held it in his good hand, and ripped off a piece with his teeth, and then put it over Libby’s mouth.
She looked in bad shape. Blood was pouring from her nose and mouth. Her arms were bleeding through her shirtsleeves. She had bruises all over her face and under her clothes, too. One arm looked like it might be broken. If she told, then that would be the end for him. He would end up in jail. Not able to work at church or with children or anything. He knew because he remembered there being a specific question on both applications about ever having been arrested for a violent offense.
“Don’t you dare say a word!” he threatened, getting right in her face.
Libby whimpered, trying to move away from him. Tears tracked down her cheeks.
Since he heard the kid coming down the stairs, Liam did the only thing he could. He grabbed a chair and shattered the window. Then he climbed on the wooden structure in the corner and outside, running to his car.
The noise would scare the kid away, Liam thought desperately. It had to.
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