Faith: Chapter 4

Treat the other man's faith gently; it is all he has to believe with. His mind was created for his own thoughts, not yours or mine.
- Henry S. Haskins

Belle opened her eyes to garishly bright light and a horrible suctioning noise. She was on her side, and people all around her were talking in firm voices. She didn’t know what was happening. Her head was down, and something was down her throat. Lethargically, Belle reached for the tube, but immediately her hand was caught and held against her body.

Squeezing her eyes shut, she felt tears escape, before the darkness dragged her in again.

--

It was nearly 2 AM by the time Sherry thought to call anyone.

Immediately after arriving at the hospital, Belle had been whisked one way and herself another, to fill out paperwork. Once that was done, Sherry could do nothing but sit and pray until someone came out and told her they were doing all they could for her daughter.

When her head cleared enough, she called Mikhail. Though it was common in these situations to call the pastor of a church, Sherry and Belle belonged to a large congregation with a few pastors - none of whom knew herself or her child well. Sherry knew that Mikhail saw Belle often, and she had begun baby-sitting for his daughter while he and his wife went out for dinner.

Sherry was having doubts regarding how well she knew her own daughter, but if her instincts were correct, she figured Belle would prefer to see Mikhail over a pastor anyway. Also, if she was honest, Sherry needed someone to be with her, and she knew Mikhail wouldn’t hesitate to come.

“Mikhail? It’s Sherry Sutton. Belle’s mother,” she said quietly, from the waiting room phone, angling her body toward the door, so she could see if Belle’s doctor came in.

“Yes. Sherry. What’s happen?” Mikhail asked. He was awake immediately, shaking Masha gently from sleep as well.

“I’m at the hospital,” Sherry said softly, trying to keep her tears at bay long enough to get through the conversation. “Belle took some pills…I hate to call you like this, but I don’t have any family…” she trailed off, blowing her nose.

“Of course,” Mikhail answered quickly. “We come right now. Which hospital?”

“St. Joseph’s,” she answered, breathing a small sigh of relief.

Mikhail was out of bed and pulling on jeans and a shirt, as Masha did the same, not knowing why. “Anybody I can call for you?” he wondered, grabbing his wallet and keys off the dresser.

“No.”

“It’s gonna be good. I come with Masha right now,” he said, and hung up.

Without a word, he rushed to Alyona’s room and scooped her up, along with all the blankets on her bed and Zaitchik, her stuffed bunny.

He moved quickly to the closet, where Maria grabbed the coats and they headed out the door.

--

Pounding on Missy’s front door, Mikhail waited a second and then started again. He knew he couldn’t bring his daughter into a hospital at this hour. This would have to do until they got things figured out.

Stumbling out of bed, Missy made her way to the door. On the way, she looked out the window, and was shocked to see Mikhail, Maria and Alyona on her front step, covered in snow.

Without hesitating, Mikhail stepped inside. “We need to go to hospital. Something’s wrong. Sherry call me,” he explained in a rush, handing Alyona in all her blankets to Missy.

“Something’s wrong with Belle?” Missy asked, more awake now.

Nodding grimly, Mikhail kissed his daughter goodbye. “We call when we know,” he told Missy.

“What happened? Did Sherry say?” Missy pressed, feeling a pit start to grow in her stomach.

“She say Belle take some pills.” Mikhail confirmed.

“Sweet Jesus,” Missy closed her eyes. She knew without more details what Mikhail was saying, what Sherry had said. Missy tightened her grip on Alyona. “Okay, well you two should go. We’ll be fine here.”

--

The ride to the hospital was quiet. The roads were snowy and slippery, and Mikhail knew he needed to concentrate and get there fast.

Maria sat tight-lipped in the passenger seat. Her blonde hair was moonlit, and her blue eyes were intent on the road ahead of them as she thought of Belle. She knew Belle’s mother’s name was Sherry, and that she had been calling from a hospital. Maria lowered her head, praying fervently for the girl she had often thought of as a niece.

Belle was a good girl, and without the luxury of a babushka nearby to care of Alyona, she was a wonderful substitute. She always paid attention to Alyona, teaching her and playing with her, and Mikhail had only ever had kind things to say about her.

Silently, Maria reached over, and grasped her husband’s hand.

His jaw was set, and his face was serious as he focused on the road, but he squeezed her hand back and joined her in quietly praying for their young friend.

--

Sherry was breathing slightly easier when Mikhail and Maria made their way into the waiting room. A resident had come through right after she’d hung up and let her know that Belle’s stomach was being pumped, and that she had regained consciousness briefly.

“Mikhail, Maria…” Sherry greeted, enveloping them both in a hug.

“Come. Sit,” Mikhail said kindly, guiding Sherry to a chair. “You hear anything else?” he asked, shrugging out of his coat.

“She woke up for a minute,” Sherry said hopefully.

“You told me she take some pills?” he asked.

“Yes. Too many.”

“She take too many pills. You think she wanna do this for purpose?” he asked gently.

Sherry nodded. “I don’t know why she would, though. She knows better.”

Maria squeezed Sherry’s hand. “But she’s better? She’s awake?”

“Only for a minute,” Sherry said sadly.

“You sure there’s nobody we can call for you?” Mikhail pressed, wanting to do something.

Sherry shook her head absently, before changing the subject. “How did she seem tonight, Mikhail?”

“Tonight, she seem okay. Kinda quiet. She bring her new friend again,” he offered.

“Greta,” Sherry said the name like it left a bad taste in her mouth. “How often has she come with Belle?”

“This week. And last, too. She’s good to Belle. Don’t worry.”

“I’m not.” Sherry denied. “Where’s your little one tonight?” she asked curiously. “I thought you might stay home with her,” she added, looking to Maria.

“No.” Maria answered. “We drop her off with Missy. We both wanna come. Be here for you.”

Sherry smiled tightly. “Well, thank you. I appreciate it so much.”

--

Missy tried not to let her frustration show too plainly. Mikhail and Maria were barely out the door when Aly woke up, and decided it was time to play. She was sitting in the middle of all her blankets, with her rabbit, making it hop up and down.

“My mama come back soon?” Aly asked sweetly.

“I don’t know,” Missy admitted, trying to keep it together.

“An’ Papa?” Aly asked curiously, as if the answer could be very different from the one previous.

Missy shook her head. “He and your mama will be back in a while.”

“Zaitchik wanna cookie,” Aly informed Missy, crawling into her lap, and holding Missy’s face in her pudgy hands.

“He does? It’s late for cookies. I’m sorry.”

Aly’s joyful expression fell. “But he wanna have cookies an’ tea.”

“I know he does, sweetie. But it’s time for sleeping right now.”

Aly shook her head so her curls bounced everywhere. “It’s time for wake. ‘Cause I am wake, and you wake, and Zaitchik wake. Everybody wake. So, we can have cookies.”

Missy sighed. “Alyona. I said no.”

“But I say yes!” the little girl protested. “An’ Belle say yes, an’ Belle is big.”

Missy’s heart squeezed painfully in her chest at the mention of Belle’s name. “I’m sure Belle wouldn’t say yes to cookies so late at night.”

Aly got off Missy’s lap in a huff, and stomped around her blankets for a while. “Wanna play with Belle,” she pouted.

“Come here, babe. You want me to hold you?” Missy asked sympathetically.

“Wanna cookie,” she said pathetically from her nest of blankets.

Missy watched Aly sadly from the recliner in the corner of the room. Her beautiful blonde curls, big blue eyes, and cute purple nightgown with hearts on the front. She knew they would both be tired in the morning, and she knew she was going to need all the rest she could get, but it didn’t look like Aly was wearing herself out any.

She knew she ought to start calling Belle’s friends, though it was still the middle of the night. Missy knew if she were them, she would want to know as soon as possible, if anything was happening to her friend, but she couldn’t bring herself to call up Andrew, Elise, or Josh, and felt a pang of regret at not even knowing Greta’s number.

Eventually, Missy simply set Aly up at the kitchen table with some paper and a pen, hoping that she would be like every other three year old, and like to scribble. She took to it right away, and Missy was so grateful.

For the first time, she was able to get on her knees and pray for her friend. “Dear Jesus, why? Why would Belle do this? I don’t understand, Father. Why didn’t I see she wasn’t happy? Jesus, please heal her body and her spirit.” Tears tracked down her cheeks, at the thought of Belle intentionally overdosing.

Rising, she decided to be in the kitchen since that’s where Aly was - and turned on the computer. She couldn’t bring herself to call anyone, but she knew Gabe had to know, and it might take him days to check his email.

Though she didn’t do it frequently, Missy signed onto her instant messenger, on the off-handed chance that he might be there, though it was barely after six in the morning.

Instantly, she saw his name, and clicked it. But he got to her first.

Gabe: Hey! What are you doing up so early?
Melissa: You need to pray.
Gabe: Why? What’s wrong?
Melissa: It’s Belle. Mikhail and Maria dropped Aly off over here 4 hours ago…
Gabe: What happened?
Gabe: Do they know?
Melissa: She’s in the hospital. Mikhail said Sherry called. Told him Belle had taken pills…
Melissa: Are you there?
Gabe: Yeah, I’m here. Oh my God, are they sure?
Gabe: It can’t be. I mean, it’s not. Right?
Melissa: It’s not what?
Gabe: This can’t be real.

Missy closed her eyes.

Melissa: It is.
Gabe: How is she?
Melissa: I don’t know. No one’s called. Just pray, Gabe. I’ll let you know soon as I can.
Gabe: Let me give you the house number so you can call me.
Melissa: Okay.

Their conversation wrapped up after that, once Missy had his number. Gabe had to go to breakfast.

Turning, Missy saw Aly had fallen asleep at the table, her head resting on the bunny she carried everywhere.

Gently, she picked her up, and carried her to bed, tucking her in the middle of the bed, and putting pillows around her.

Then, Missy returned to the living room, clutching the phone in her hand. She knew it was pointless to call Mikhail’s cell phone. She knew it would be off. So instead, she called the hospital and asked for the ICU waiting room, praying that’s where they were.

She asked for Mikhail, preferring not to disturb Sherry.

“Hey. How is she?” Missy asked.

“Okay.” His voice sounded stressed, his accent thicker. “How’s Alyona?”

“Finally sleeping,” Missy sighed gratefully. “Is she awake? Do they know?”

“She’s awake. She wake a little bit when they work on her. She wake now. Sherry’s there with her.”

“You haven’t seen her, though…” Missy said, feeling disappointment swell inside her.

“No. I don’t see her yet. Don’t know if she wanna see me. Or if she know what’s going on. Little bit she is really confuse, and doesn’t know much.”

“Is that better?” Missy asked.

Mikhail sighed. “I think she know, but she don’t wanna remember. Thank you for taking care of Alyona. She give you much trouble?”

“She just wanted cookies after you left and she woke up.”

For the first time, Mikhail smiled. “She wanna have tea, too?”

“Yeah, actually.”

“Other night, she have make-believe tea and cookies with Belle.” he told Missy.

Missy bit her lip. “I feel bad now. But anyway, I should let you go. Give Belle and Sherry my love.”

“I will,” Mikhail promised.

--

Missy was awake two hours later, deciding she needed to get a head start on calling people, while Aly was still sleeping. Only who would she call? Taking the coward’s way, Missy first called work, to tell them she wouldn’t be able to come in due to a family emergency. She hoped that would give her time to consider who else she could call.

She knew Belle’s friends should be the first ones to know, but it was already late enough that they would be in school. She would have to let them know afterward.

Instead, she called Alex.

She listened as the phone rang, knowing that Alex didn’t have class on Fridays, and praying she would answer. When her call was transferred to voice mail, Missy called again.

“Hello?” Alex’s tired voice croaked.

“Alex, it’s Missy. You haven’t heard anything, have you?” she asked.

Still feeling groggy, Alex focused on the clock in front of her. “I just opened my eyes. What would I have heard?”

“Wake up and listen to me!” Missy insisted.

“Okay!” Sitting up in bed, Alex tried to force her tired brain to cooperate, and wake up on command. That usually didn’t happen without at least a half-hour spent sitting in the middle of her bed and a seriously large cup of coffee. She had neither this morning, and it was barely 8:00. “Heard what?”

“Belle…” Missy’s voice sounded funny. Strained.

Suddenly, Alex was completely awake. “What about Belle?” she asked warily.

Missy swallowed, not sure if she could actually say the words out loud. “She… She overdosed.”

“When?” Alex asked, feeling her heart race in her chest.

“Early this morning. Mikhail and Maria came and dropped of Aly. Sherry called Mikhail.” Missy wiped her eyes.

“Oh my God…” Alex wept. “Is she gonna make it?”

“She’s okay, yeah. I talked to Mikhail, and he said she woke up for a minute or two when they were first looking at her. And when I was talking to him, he said she was awake, and Sherry was with her.”

“Does anybody else know?” Alex asked, sniffling.

“Gabe,” Missy admitted quietly. “I found him online around six this morning.”

“Is he coming back?”

“I wouldn’t be surprised,” Missy answered, tossing the tissue in the trash.

The sound of little feet distracted Missy momentarily and she turned. Aly stopped suddenly, seeing Missy’s face. “Chto sluchilos?”

It was serious, and it was a question. That’s all Missy could gather. “Alex, you don’t know Russian, do you?” Missy put her hand to her forehead, trying not to be frustrated.

“What?” Alex shook her head, trying to clear it.

“Aly’s up. She’s asking me something.”

“Well ask her to tell you in English.” Alex said, expelling a breath.

Missy came over, and bent low, so she could look into Aly‘s eyes. “In English, baby. What?”

“Chto sluchilos?” Aly repeated, with more feeling this time.

“We’re not getting anywhere,” Missy sighed into the phone.

“Call Kenzie. She might know.”

Not even bothering to ask how Kenzie would know a random Russian phrase, Missy hung up with Alex, and dialed her number.

“Hey, Kenzie. I’ve got Aly here. Do you have any idea what she’s saying?”

“Put her on.”

“Here, babe. Tell Kenzie.” Missy held the phone out, so Aly could talk into it.

For a third time, Aly repeated herself, and Missy took the phone back.

“She wants to know what’s wrong.” Kenzie said, growing serious.

“How do you know that?” Missy wondered, distracted momentarily by her own curiosity.

Kenzie shrugged. “I have an ear for languages. Is there something you wanna tell me?”

“Not right now.” Missy denied. She wasn’t about to say anything about Belle in front of a three-year-old who adored her. “Call me in a while. Hopefully Mikhail will have picked her up by then.”

Hanging up, Missy focused her attention on Aly. “Nothing’s wrong, baby. I’m just sad.”

Instantly, Aly wrapped her arms around Missy’s neck so tightly she might have been choked, had Aly been stronger.

“All better!” Aly announced happily.

Missy smiled. “Thank you. That’s very nice. Now, should we have some breakfast?”

“Yay! Cookie Crisp!” Aly did a little dance, almost falling over in her exuberance.

“I don’t have Cookie Crisp, I’m sorry…” Missy apologized.

“Donut?” Aly asked sweetly.

“No, no donuts either. Do you like oatmeal? Or toast?”

Aly wrinkled her nose. “No.”

“What about Cheerios?” Missy asked, praying she’d found something Aly might eat.

“Okay. I like Cheerios.” Happily, Aly climbed onto a chair and played with her spoon, until Missy brought the bowl of cereal over and set it in front of her.

“Spasibo, Missy!” Aly said enthusiastically. She beamed up at Missy. “Good job! I like these kind!”

Missy laughed, for the first time all day. “I’m glad you approve.”

The rest of the morning was filled with activity. Mikhail and Maria hadn’t had time to take any clothes with for her, so Aly spent her time delightedly running around in her nightgown. She watched Sesame Street, and obediently repeated each letter, number, and word.

“See that, Missy? That’s A.” Alyona said importantly, pointing to the screen.

“That’s right. You are so smart.” Missy praised. She refrained from asking what started with A, because Alyona was already chirping away - trying to read a word with the two-headed monster.

At noon, Mikhail and Maria showed up. It was none too soon, as Alyona was starting to get crabby. Missy didn’t want to guess how much sleep she’d gotten the night before, but knew it wasn’t enough to sustain a child.

Once Mikhail’s family was on their way home, Missy decided to call Alex again. She wanted to pay Sherry a visit, but didn’t have the heart to go alone. She figured Alex would help her keep things in perspective.

Their car trip had been a mostly silent one. Alex was behind the wheel, and Missy in the passenger seat - after she told Alex how much sleep she’d gotten the night before. They were driving past the local Target, when Alex slowed, and pulled into the parking lot.

“What are you doing?” Missy asked. “We’re supposed to be going to the hospital.”

“We need to tell Greta.”

Missy sighed. “I was thinking of having an emergency meeting tonight. Tell everyone then.”

“No one besides Belle had Greta’s number.” Alex insisted. “We need to let her know, and get her phone number so we can be in touch.”

Without a word, Missy opened the door on her side, and grimly stepped out. She knew Alex was right.

Alex stepped into line behind Greta’s register. She clenched her teeth, and took deep breaths - anything she could to keep her composure, as she got closer to the head of the line. She had made the decision as she was parking. She was going to be the one to break it to Greta, not Missy.

“Nice shirt. What can I get for you?” Greta asked, not even looking at Alex.

Glancing down quickly, she saw her own shirt, visible through her open jacket. It said: “YOU’RE JUST JEALOUS BECAUSE THE VOICES SPEAK TO ME.” Alex remembered grabbing it in a rush that morning. It had been the handiest one, not yet put away, right at the top of her clean laundry pile.

She shook her head, and spoke seriously. “Do you have a break soon?”

Greta finally met Alex’s eyes and looked surprised. She saw Missy beside her, both wearing gravely serious expressions, and grew wary. “Look, if this is because of Belle and the nose-ring thing, I was totally kidding.”

Alex shook her head dismissively. “Do you have a break soon?” she pressed urgently.

“Yeah. I can take one anytime.” Greta said, even more confused now.

“Good. Take it.”

Alex’s tone had been so firm, that Greta didn’t hesitate, and followed them both outside the store.

Greta hadn’t thought to grab her jacket, and was freezing immediately. “What’s up?” she asked, praying that whatever it was, they would be quick.

“Belle’s in the hospital.” Alex said, forcing all the words out at once.

“What? Why?” Snow fell and blew all around them, and it stung Greta’s eyes.

Stepping in front of her, Alex shielded Greta from the wind, and reached out to put a hand on her shoulder. “She overdosed on something.”

Behind Alex, Missy bowed her head, as tears fell. She hadn’t thought to put her hair back and it blew everywhere, unrestrained.

“She’s been awake a little bit. Missy and I are headed over to sit with her mom right now, but we wanted to make sure you knew. We’re meeting tonight at Micah’s to let everyone know who doesn’t yet, if you wanna come.”

“So, you think she’ll be okay?” Greta wondered, feeling shock course through her like waves.

Alex nodded. “We need to get going, but can I get your number? That way I can call you when we know more.”

--

Sherry wasn’t in the waiting room when they got there. In fact, it was mostly empty, except for one family occupying a row of chairs by one wall.

Alex immediately went to the vending machine, and bought some Cheetos, and a Welch’s grape pop. Missy picked up a magazine, and idly flipped through it.

“Do you want coffee?” Alex asked, pointing to the small counter with coffee and Styrofoam cups.

“No,” Missy shook her head. Her voice was hoarse, and her glasses were foggy. She took them off and tried half-heartedly to clean them with the fabric of her shirt.

Regardless, Alex went and filled a cup, setting it on a table beside an empty chair, alongside a cookie. When Missy eyed it, Alex explained that Sherry might be hungry and tired when she came back from wherever she was.

Twenty minutes later, Sherry did return. Both Missy and Alex stood, and went to her.

“Girls, it’s so nice to see you,” Sherry said quietly.

Missy moved to put an arm around her, and walked with her to the chair next to the cookie and coffee. “How are you? How’s Belle?”

“I’m doing well enough,” Sherry said, sounding a little miffed. “Belle’s awake and being difficult. She stabilized overnight, and now they’re giving her tests - to rule out liver or brain damage. I know she’s fine,” Sherry said confidently, “She’s had a rough morning, though. If she was in a little better shape, I’d take you to see her, but she’s been sick on and off.”

“Will you let her know we’re here?” Missy asked.

“Oh, of course! Thank you both so much for coming by.” Sherry stepped closer, enveloping each in a hug. “Let Mikhail and Maria know how she’s doing if they call.”

“Will do,” Alex confirmed. “And give Belle our love.”