Community Watch: Chapter 1

When I smell garlic, it makes me sure I have Italian somewhere in my Pacific Islander ancestry. Garlic invades my being the same way pineapple does. Or Mexican. Or any other food that I really enjoy. The fact that I smell garlic can only mean one glorious thing: Jess is cooking tonight. No more mystery chili at Bryan’s. Just Jess’s spaghetti - and the only mystery in that is how she can make it taste so amazing every single time.

Morgan would never write a blog, she thought as she closed her journal and tucked the pen inside. She was a private person, as much as it might seem otherwise. She enjoyed people’s company - that wasn’t it. It was that the only reason to write a blog was to get the approval of another person. Morgan didn’t want another’s approval, and she knew that if she ever caught any of her four roommates reading it, she would feel something deeper than betrayal. Smiling to herself, Morgan tucked her journal deep under the mattress - lucky for her, she grew up with four siblings - knowing how to hide your possessions came with the territory.

“Hey!” Emily called from down the hall. Morgan knew from the tone of her friend’s voice that she had been addressed. “Liam wants to know if you’re back from snow country!”

“I thought this was snow country,” Libby quipped from the other room, though the weather was mild, and not a flake of snow had fallen yet.

Morgan rolled her eyes. “Yeah. And you can tell him I got every one of the seventeen messages he left.”

“He wants to know if you missed him,” Emily passed along, grinning smugly, her brown eyes shining with happiness. She loved it when all her friends got together for Monday Madness - the meal they shared together once a week, alternating places.

Irritable now, Morgan grabbed the house phone. “Yes, I missed you!” she snapped and shoved the phone back at Emily, as she left the room.

Little feet came down the hall, and Morgan couldn’t help but smile.

“Morgan,” Christian whispered. “Look what I can do!”

Waiting patiently, she watched him attempt some physical feat. “Wow. That’s really good.”

“Do you know what it’s called?” he asked patiently.

Morgan shook her head, unashamed that she didn’t have a name for what looked more like a tribal dance than the common act she suspected it was supposed to be.

“It’s called skipping,” he said proudly, and beamed up at her.

“Oh really?” Legend asked, coming through the hall and scooping him up to tickle. “Who taught you to skip?”

“You did!” he exclaimed, wiggling and breathless with laughter.

“Hey kiddies!” Libby greeted. “Who wants hor's-doeuvres?” she dropped her voice to a whisper, stealing Christian away and giving him dessert she’d managed to sneak, while Jess was busy cooking.

“What goes good with these?” Libby wondered quietly, her eyes wide as she contemplated if it would taste better with coffee, milk, or maybe just plain.

“Jess is gonna kick your butt if she knows you have that,” Legend warned.

Libby quickly swallowed the bit of an éclair she had pilfered and smiled. “Then we won’t tell her,” Libby grinned at Christian who was busy eating the cream out of the middle and licking the chocolate off the top. “Or Christian can tell her. Right?”

He nodded enthusiastically. “She won’t kick my butt. Moms don’t do that to kids.”

“Elizabeth.”

Legend shot Libby a knowing look, and Libby guiltily slid into the kitchen to face Jess.

Even though she was twenty, Jess had already been a mother for four years, and times like this, Libby could tell. She even stood with her hands on her hips. Libby was only two years younger, but right now, she might as well have been Christian’s age, the way Jess was looking at her.

“Yes?” Libby asked, trying to play innocent.

“One of my éclairs is missing,” Jess said plainly. “Any ideas about that?”

Jess looked at her friend who was dressed in jeans and a college sweatshirt, her brown hair pulled back from her face. Nothing that would suggest she was a chronic dessert stealer. And those eyes. Libby had captivating clear blue eyes that Jess was sure had gotten her out of plenty of trouble as a kid.

“I couldn’t resist,” Libby admitted, giving in under Jess’s stare. She smiled endearingly. “I’m sure it’ll be okay, though. I mean, you have, like, forty there.” Leaning on the counter, she stared longingly into the oven at the baking garlic bread.

“I had twelve. Enough for everybody to have one. You know what that means,” Jess said in her most serious Mom voice.

“No dessert after dinner,” Libby finished. “We each only had a half though!”

Smiling, Jess walked over and gave Libby a squeeze. “Go tell Christian to wash up. You, too!” she exclaimed, pulling her friend back to arm’s length to stare at her hands stained with rainbow colors. “You can tell him no dessert, too.”

Libby smiled, bringing her “nephew” into the bathroom and holding him up to the sink so he could wash the dried finger paint off his hands.

“I got us in trouble,” she admitted, setting him down and drying his hands. She smiled a little.

“I know…no dessert…” Christian sighed. A moment later, he brightened, his brown eyes shining. “Oh well! It just means do better next time.”

“Food!” a new voice bellowed.

“Coby’s here!” Christian called in delight, and ran out to meet him.

In Christian’s estimation, Coby was the best person. He was really strong and fun. And he always wanted to do nice things for people.

Coby reached down and scooped up Christian as Bryan and Aaron took off their coats. “How ya doin’ kid?”

Christian rubbed a hand down the scratchy hair growing on Coby’s face and shivered. “I’m not sick anymore! And! Me and Libby don’t get dessert ‘cause she swiped it before dinner and Mom said now we don’t get any later.”

“Bummer.”

“I know,” Christian agreed. “And! Guess what?”

“What?” Coby asked enthusiastically. He loved this kid.

“Legend. Taught me how. To do. This.” he said all the words so Coby would know it was something really cool. Christian wiggled to get down and launched into his version of skipping.

Morgan came down the hall to greet the guys, just as Nathaniel, Jonathan and Liam came in. As Christian skipped frantically, Morgan caught Coby’s attention and soundlessly skipped a little behind the boy.

“Hey! That’s great skipping. I didn’t know how to do that until I was way older than you!” he scooped Christian up and ruffled his curly dark hair. He was so much like Jess.

“Morgan didn’t even know! I think she only knows how to do dangerous sports not boring ones,” he stage-whispered.

Coby snickered and ruffled Morgan’s hair on his way by. “Hey, Morgantown. Thanks for the tip.”

“No problem,” she laughed.

Morgan greeted the guys one at a time. They were all so different. Jon, she just waved at, as he made his way to the kitchen. Aaron hugged her warmly. Liam asked her for the forty-fifth time how her vacation was. It was fine, she told him. She asked him of his week, and he scowled, following Jonathan, Aaron and Coby into the kitchen. She knew without turning around that they were setting the table.

“Hey,” Bryan greeted. “Is that my shirt?”

Morgan looked down at the green polo she wore. “Yeah, I guess.”

“Cool.”

“Why? You want it back?”

“Not right now,” he smiled.

“Perv,” she spat good-naturedly. Bryan was anything but. He was a gentleman through and through.

“What’s up, Natey?” she asked, when Nathaniel was the only one left.

He shrugged, appearing constantly uncomfortable. “Spaghetti?” he wondered.

“Spaghetti, salad, garlic bread, the whole nine,” she told him smiling. She reached up to hug him.

Nate closed his eyes, breathing in the smells of home. Even if it wasn’t his - home-cooked anything reminded him of home and family. And really, in college, these people were family.

“Hey, Libby,” he called softly, seeing her from down the hall. “How‘d the test go?”

“So horrible! The essay was like slow death. How am I supposed to write paragraphs on stuff I don’t even know? In another language?”

“We practiced it. For, like, a whole week, ” he pointed out, glad that the four years of Spanish he‘d taken in high school were good for something.

“So? That doesn’t help, unless you’re there in the class with me. I always freeze up during tests. You’re my comfort object,” she told him sweetly, wrapping her arms around him. “You’re cold.” she noted, feeling his cheek against the top of her head.

“And I need lotion. Bad. My hands are all cracked and nasty. Washing dishes sucks.”

“Go set, and I’ll find you some.” Libby decided, ducking out of his embrace.

Nate walked into the kitchen, and greeted Jess with a kiss on the cheek that made Christian giggle.

“Hey, Nathaniel.” Jess said, smiling.

“Hey. So, what’s up? We need spoons?” he asked, heading for the silverware.

“Not tonight,” Jess answered.

Instead, Nate went to the fridge and got the Parmesan cheese and squeezed in next to Jonathan to set it on the table.

“So what’d you say to Libby? You’re on crack or something?” Jon muttered, so Jess and the baby wouldn’t hear.

Nathaniel elbowed him. “You’re on crack. Shut up. My hands are cracked.” he explained quietly, holding them out.

Libby came in then with the lotion, and handed it to Nate.

“Ooh, is that the cucumber melon kind?” Liam asked his sister, smiling.

“Only the best!” Libby laughed. “You can smell it after Nate’s done,” she promised. She knew her brother and his funny insistence on smelling lotions, perfume, cologne and soap. He’d been like that since they were kids. Never wanted to wear it, but always had to smell it.

From the stove, Jess observed her kitchen. She couldn’t help feeling a little self-conscious when her house was full. Just because her friends all looked amazing, and she, in her own opinion, was just average.

Legend, Morgan, Emily and Libby didn’t have the lingering softness of a pregnancy four years removed. They didn’t have dark circles under their eyes from staying up while their son was sick from eating last week’s chili, which had contained an ungodly amount of chili powder. Christian had inhaled the whole bowl in record time, desperate for dessert The others had only to smell the offending food to know when it was time to order in a pizza.

Legend was Jess’s best friend. She had been there through a lot of Jess’s turbulent years - they had gone to school together. Because of this, Jess knew the little things about Legend - that her favorite color was purple. That she - at barely five feet tall - drove a truck, because she liked to feel big on the road. Legend was as fit as a marathon runner without even trying. Though she and Jess were the same age, Legend was tiny enough to still dress with no trouble in jeans and tops from the girls’ department at most stores, which meant she looked twice as cute. Her hair was what everyone noticed and wanted to touch. Usually, she wore it in its natural ‘fro. Her skin was just barely dark, her eyes a warm brown. She was a bundle of energy. She was an only child, and lived like it. She didn’t answer to people and was known to have a temper. Jess knew she was a daddy’s girl, and was her parents’ pride and joy. She a big help with Christian, and the only one Jess would trust with his care, if anything were to happen to her.

Morgan was both adorable and stunning all at once. Jess knew she was both Asian and Hawaiian - but was unsure of specifics. She was small and muscular, and, it seemed - always wearing boys’ clothes. Jess knew it was for no other reason except that they “were more comfortable,” according to Morgan. Her hair was often down, but she almost always wore some kind of hat. She wore dresses and girly clothes when necessary, but could often be found halfway through a formal event, cursing her ripped nylons since she brought her skateboard practically everywhere and couldn’t stay off it. She was the strongest person Jess knew, was always putting others first - except for the rare occasion, like the few days this past week, when she had taken off to ski and snowboard for self-proclaimed “mental-health days.” But Jess figured, that was how Morgan managed to do what she did. If you were constantly there for others, you needed to be able to have things that were just yours. She was both the oldest of her siblings, and the oldest in the house at twenty-one. That she both acted like it, and didn’t, was refreshing.

Emily always struck Jess as younger than she was. Maybe it was her innocence or her constant energy. In many ways, Jess suspected, Emily was a typical nineteen-year-old. Jess knew she hadn’t been typical last year, raising a three-year-old. There were things you did when you didn’t have a toddler in tow, Jess reminded herself. Emily dressed like a fashion plate all the time. Her black hair was perfect and her make-up was done. She put on plays, exclaimed over simple things, like a bad hair day, or a sunrise. She was like sunshine. Jess loved that she was an optimist. Having only a younger brother at home, Emily adored living with four girls and Christian. Jess loved that Emily still had her innocence.

Though Libby was the youngest, both in the house and in her family, there was always something about her that suggested otherwise. In a lot of ways, she was a typical college freshman. She didn’t care how she looked. If she was tired, she went to class in pajama pants, a sweatshirt and slippers. But there was something in those startlingly blue eyes that made Jess know there was more to her. She had a deeply serious side, but also had more fun than Jess thought was possible. She loved to paint and keep her hands busy. She often told Jess that the thing she was proudest of was being “Auntie Libby” to Christian. These were also times Libby let go and acted like a kid, which Jess embraced, playing her mother role to the hilt, and knowing Libby needed it, though she had her own loving parents at home.

Jonathan, Nathaniel and Bryan were quite easy on the eyes. And even the closer to average looking guys - Liam, Aaron and Coby - still looked amazing.

Jonathan, Jess always thought, could be a model if he wanted. His blond hair, deep brown eyes and boyish smile made it easy to see why, at twenty-two, he not only had a girlfriend, but they were talking of marriage. Of all of them, Jonathan was quite solitary. He liked his time alone, and dreaded giving up his place in a good book, or his spot in a video game when interrupted. Jess suspected this was because he was a youngest. He had an older sister and brother, and his parents kind of spoiled him. Jess could admit to jealousy when he talked about the brownies his mom sent, or the new threads he got. Money truly was no object for him - his parents paid for his schooling - and took care of everything for him. He was even known not to wash his clothes until a break in the semester so he could go home and not only wash them for free, but have his mom do it for him. But Jess knew he was a good guy. Jonathan, the guy who lived for his privacy, had given it up to watch Christian several times the previous week while he was sick so Jess could get to class.

Bryan had Mexican or Spanish blood, but Jess wasn’t sure which. He was Latino in any case, and the warmest person someone could ever meet. He would dress in sweats all the time if he could, and Jess often joked that it was because he was always lending Morgan clothes that she never gave back. Jess knew from the Bible study where they met that he had a rough time in his teen years, falling in with the wrong crowd, stealing, smoking, that kind of thing. But Jess could relate. Good kids didn’t get pregnant at fifteen. But Bryan had changed, and thankfully, so had she. He was a good man. He was the same age as Jonathan but seemed older, both in world-experience and as a person. He was close to his mom and sisters, though he was a bit of a loner. He liked spending time online or on the phone. Though this last week, Jess knew, he’d gone shopping with Emily for something electronic that he knew more about. They got back three hours later, and Bryan was still smiling, cursing the “damn lines” in the checkout lanes good-naturedly, and assuring everyone that Emily had gotten not just any laptop, but a top of the line one. It was just the kind of guy he was.

Liam was tall. It was the first thing Jess noticed about him. He was actually the tallest of all of them at six feet. He was pale and not very muscular, but he had kind blue-gray eyes, and a ready, crooked smile. His dark blond hair was always buzzed, and Jess hardly ever saw it because Liam was always wearing a different hat. Berets, baseball caps, even a straw hat one day. He hated layering his clothes - hated feeling hot, and she was often after him to keep his shirt on - literally. She didn’t need Christian, at four, deciding he could walk around in front of company without one. Liam and Morgan both loved skateboarding, but Libby was his first priority. He was a proud and protective older brother. He also led the Bible study where they all first met. Spiritually, he was probably the most mature person out of all of them. Jess was sorry she didn’t know him that well, because he was so important to Libby. But she did know he was a hard worker in everything he did, and courtesy of the phone call she had just overheard, that he had left just shy of twenty messages for Morgan during her time away. They weren’t good messages, but good-natured jealous ones. She’d listened to one herself. “I hope you’re in an avalanche,” it said. Jess smiled to herself, knowing that the only reason he would wish an ill circumstance on her was so he might have an opportunity to save her, so Morgan would know how much he cared for her.

Jess wasn’t ashamed to admit that she often caught herself staring at Nathaniel. All the girls did at one time or another. His skin was caramel and his hair curly and black. His parents, like Legend’s, were different races. But unlike Legend, Nate looked more dark than light. He had one brother, Joey - and Jess knew that they had the same mother but different fathers. Joey was totally Caucasian - not the intriguing mix of African-American, possibly Latino, and Caucasian as Nate was. He was just shy of Liam’s height and had the body of a dancer, because he was one - if not in profession, definitely in heart. Just now, he was pirouetting in a circle to dry his lotion. He had arms and legs and even fingers that went on for days. Nate always dressed well, even when he was being casual. He was newly twenty-one, and regularly enjoyed wine with dinner. He liked those coffee table art books, some musicals, and guys. Jess didn’t care that he was gay. In fact, Jess saw his coming out not as selfish pride, but part of his integrity as a person. He walked confidently, so much so, that people who didn’t know him misjudged him as arrogant. If they did know Nathaniel, they would see someone almost painfully insecure. Even though Jess had known him for a couple months, he rarely addressed her by name, and didn’t say more than a few words at a time to Christian. She didn’t know where all his insecurities came from, but she admired his heart and his sensitivity to other people.

Aaron was a clown. He was short for a guy, and Jess thought he might use his humor to cover up his insecurity about his height. But she didn’t really know. He was Mexican or Spanish, too, but looked totally different from Bryan. Aaron was Nate’s age, raised by a single mom with a younger sister. She knew he was the man of the house from a young age, and even now, was sending money home to help with household expenses. He was really intense about school and his car. This new one he just bought, after saving a long time for it. He loved bandanas and jeans, and rarely wore shirts - “because he kept ruining them in the laundry.” Jess just figured he liked his freedom. He was such a sweetheart though. He and Libby had gone to McDonald’s last week and ordered Happy Meals just so that they could give Christian the toys because he was sick.

Coby was the oldest at twenty-four. His dad was at home raising his younger brother and sister. His parents had divorced a couple years back. He always had beard and moustache stubble. He had dark eyes and dark hair that he kept on the long side. Honestly, when they first met at Bible study, Jess made a mental note to keep her son away from him, as he looked dangerous. Coby was her first real life lesson in how appearances can be deceiving. Behind the tough-looking, motorcycle-riding exterior was a guy who was giving almost to a fault. Jess was pretty sure that no one, even his guy friends, knew that he rode the bike because he left his car, with gas and keys, for her to use if she had an emergency and “needed wheels.” He regularly babysat Christian and occasionally took the two of them out for meals Jess could never afford on her own. He hesitated to call them dates, because Christian was there - Jess knew otherwise. He had the biggest heart. He loved the water, and was an adrenaline-junkie…and Jess loved absolutely everything about him. But she wouldn’t admit it out loud.

Jess looked at her friends. She wondered what they saw when they looked at her. Her eyes traveled back to Coby, who stared at her boldly.

Most guys would say Jess was plain. Hell, most guys would probably call her a slut. But Coby called her a mother. She had beautiful curly hair that wasn’t exactly brown or red, but some great combination. Beautiful brown eyes, perfect skin, great smile. But more than that, Jess had a great heart. She was a wonderful mom. A great cook, a great friend. Someday, he hoped she would be more than that, but Coby was willing to take it slow with her. He knew she had a rough history. Her mom abandoning her as a toddler, and her dad disowning her when she got pregnant. He knew she liked to keep everyone around her close, but didn’t necessarily trust that any of them would be there the next day. Coby knew she felt guilty relying on others for financial support or childcare, but he always told her she was doing what a mom should - doing whatever she had to do to take care of her son. That made her smile. Just like she was smiling now.

“Hey, lovebirds!” Aaron called. “We gonna eat or what?”

Both looked away, and Jess blushed.

Across the table, Morgan smiled to herself, inhaling the scent of the garlic bread that she loved so much, and took off her hat to pray.

--

“So, did you ski Hell’s Angle?” Aaron asked Morgan. When Jess stared hard at him, and he saw Christian’s big eyes, Aaron corrected himself. “I meant heck,” he told the little boy seriously.

“Heck no!” Morgan said back, smiling. “You gotta have a death wish to ski that by yourself.”

“Are you supposed to ski anywhere by yourself? Emily wondered, stabbing a meatball gleefully and popping it in her mouth. “I mean, isn’t that a death wish just the same? You could, like, fall off the lift or something.”

“No,” Morgan denied confidently, “I know what I’m doing.”

“How are your hands?” Libby asked Nate.

“Good now, thanks.” he returned. “Hey, I uh…saw Buddy today.”

Libby shuddered. “Oh my God, where?”

“I was washing dishes and crap on campus and he came by from the pizza place. Brought me his dishes.”

“I swear he’s got to be at least a little crazy. You ever notice how he looks at us?” Libby asked, gesturing to the girls at large.

“You ever notice how he looks at me?” Nate quipped.

“Who?” Liam asked, furrowing his eyebrows.

“Buddy,” Libby supplied. She dropped her voice, “The crazy guy.”

“You mean the guy that works at the Pizza Piazza? He’s harmless. Maybe a little slow, but he won’t hurt you.” he assured Libby.

Libby rolled her eyes, “Like you would know. He doesn’t think your hair is so soft he has to touch it every time he sees you.”

“Your spaghetti’s amazing, Jess!” Aaron called.

“Thanks, Aaron. You wanna help with dessert? Oh… Hold that thought. I have two dessert helpers already, I forgot. Libby? CJ?” Jess looked meaningfully at her friend and her son.

“I’ll do anything to help if you only promise to feed us next time it’s our turn, so I don’t get your kid sick again. Sorry about that,” he admitted quietly. He wasn’t sure if Jess knew it was dyslexia and not ADD or any of the other things they joked about that caused his mistake with the chili powder.

“It’s no problem, Aar, don’t worry. No, I won’t cook for you, and you can help by being on dish duty after dessert,” Jess smiled.

Nate sighed, relieved that he wasn’t chosen to do what he was paid precious little to do every day of his college life.

Libby and Christian came back with the éclairs and sat sadly while everyone else ate them, hoping someone would take pity on them and share.

“Oh! You guys! My mom sent brownies again today! They were awesome!” Jonathan announced.

“You ate them all? Christian asked in fascination.

Jonathan sat back and rubbed his stomach. “Yeah, I did.”

“And your mom let you? My mom would never let me do that.”

“Well, kid, when you’re twenty-two, you don’t need your mom’s permission to eat brownies.” Jonathan told him importantly.

“Mom!” Christian called loudly, though Jess was just a room away.

“What, baby?” Jess asked smiling.

“Jonathan says when I’m twenty-two, I don’t need your mission to eat brownies. How long am I away?” Christian asked seriously, peeking his head around the corner.

“Eighteen years,” Jess told him just as seriously, making coffee.

Turning quickly, Christian ran back to Jonathan. “Well. In eighteen years, I won’t need my mom’s mission either,” he said proudly.

“Ladies cook, men clean,” Legend said, waiting expectantly.

“What did you cook?” Coby asked skeptically. Spaghetti was Jess’s specialty, no one else’s.

Legend crossed her arms. “The salad.” She raised her eyebrows, daring him to challenge it.

Wordlessly, he got up and started bringing dishes to where Aaron waited like a soldier going into battle at the sink. He wore the purple sink gloves the girls had for when they washed dishes. They went up to his elbows, and Christian giggled like a loon when he saw his friend Aaron wearing the funny-looking things so he didn’t get wet.

“So, wait a minute? You cook, and we set the table and clean? How fair is that?” Jonathan balked.

“Move your ass, man,” Bryan chided, tipping him out of his chair. “That’s the way it works around here. You know that.”

“It won’t be the way it works around my house,” he grumbled.

“And yet, it totally does,” Nate mumbled behind his hand.

Libby giggled.

“I’m a man, so I help, too!” Christian announced in a deep voice, bringing Aaron an empty glass. Then, he returned to the table, hands tucked in his back pockets like he’d seen Coby do, and got another one to bring.

“Look at that. Who’s setting the example, man?” Liam quipped softly to Jonathan.

Dropping his voice, Jonathan asked, “Seriously, dude. Isn’t in the Bible that women are supposed to serve us?”

Liam stopped and squinted. “Wives and husbands are to honor and respect each other. It’s mutual. Now stop trying to hide behind religion to get out of work,” Liam smiled slightly.

Sighing, Jonathan finally picked up his own dishes and brought them to Aaron at the sink.

“How’s the laptop?” Bryan asked Emily from the kitchen.

Sprawled out on the living room floor, with the rest of the girls seated around her, Emily rolled to face Bryan. “Oh, it’s so cool! I have to show you all the programs and stuff,” she exclaimed.

“Get real. You know you just want to show him your wallpaper and screen saver. It‘s not like he helped even pick those out.” Legend smirked.

“What kind did you get?” Jess asked, as Christian climbed in her lap to snuggle.

“I don’t really know, but it’s awesome. Pink. I looked for one with polka dots, but they don’t sell them.”

“You seriously bought a computer and you don’t even know what kind it is?” Morgan asked, incredulous.

“Duh. It’s a laptop. A notebook thing,” Emily clarified, looking annoyed.

Morgan patted her head gently. “Cool.”

The best part of the evening as far as Morgan was concerned - after the food - was when they all sat around the living room and visited each other.

Every Monday night, Morgan could count on simple patterns. Traditions. Christian - his curly hair all tousled, clothes stained from whatever they had for dinner - would crawl up in his mom’s lap and watch them all talk until he fell asleep. Libby and Liam got into a fight about something dumb. Nathaniel would rub the knots out of her neck, back and shoulders. Just like tonight.

Morgan relaxed, feeling his hands work methodically and gently, massaging any kink until it was gone.

“…Totally sucks because Ashley can’t come over at all. House rule,” Jonathan told Coby.

Nate’s hands went still on her shoulders, and Morgan reached up to touch one, understanding. The no-date policy was there for Nate, not for Jon or Liam. Morgan felt her jaw clench at the unfairness of it. She admired Liam, but not in moments like this.

Leaning back against him, she said softly, “If you wanna bring somebody home, here, you can.”

“Christian,” he breathed, hating to think how Jess would feel about her four-year-old being exposed to a gay couple.

“Nate. I’m serious. Christian has friends in school whose parents are. Jess talked to him about it. Here, if you want to bring a guy to Madness, you can.”

He shrugged. “Liam wouldn’t like it, though.”

“Liam can bite me,” Morgan said decidedly. “Switch,” she commanded, knowing he needed the massage more than she did at this point.

Obediently, he got in front of her and waited. All his muscles were tense now. He hated when this subject came up. He wasn’t ashamed but he was really insecure, and when he was judged for it unfairly, it made him want to pull into himself.

“Natey, relax.” Morgan soothed, kneading the muscles in his shoulders hard. “You’re stiff as a board.”

Taking a breath, he held it a second, looking around, before letting it out. Realizing that everyone was involved in their own conversations, Nate decided to pursue this one. “So what did Jess tell Christian about…his friends’ parents?”

“That there are all different kind of families. That unless someone’s heart got hurt really badly, everybody can love, but only God can judge people. That whether he sees a man and a woman, two women, or two men together, he’s to treat them the same way he treats other adults. With love and respect, unless they try to hurt him.”

“She really said that?” Nate asked, looking at Jess in amazed shock, and then at the little boy sleeping in her lap. “He’s four.”

“He’s almost five, and he’s really smart. Jess is a good mom.”

“She is a good mom.” Nate echoed.

--

“Hey, Jess?” Morgan asked.

It was late, and everyone had gone home. Jess was at the kitchen table studying, as Christian was asleep in the room they shared.

“Hey,” Jess greeted, patting the chair next to her.

“So I told Nate it’s okay if he brings somebody to Madness. Just wanted to double-check with you. ’Cause he was concerned about Christian.”

“Yeah, that’s fine. Did you tell him we don’t care?”

Morgan smiled, knowing that the “we” Jess referred to was not only all the girls in the apartment, but also herself and her little son. “Yeah, I did. Even told him what you told Christian about treating everybody the same.”

“What did he say?” Jess wondered, highlighting some text from her open book.

“That you’re a good mom.”

Jess looked up.

“He was agreeing with me.” Morgan said, grabbing a stray piece of garlic bread that was now hard and crumbly as sandpaper because Coby didn’t believe in covering food - even in the refrigerator.

“Do you think he has anybody?” Jess asked.

“I don’t think so.” Morgan crunched on the garlic bread.

“Jason called.” Jess remembered absently. “On…Wednesday.”

“Little twerp,” Morgan said affectionately, thinking of her twelve-year-old brother. “Why doesn’t he ever call my cell?”

“He said he tried and it was off. Needed help with homework. Your parents were at work. Pete and Kate were out. And Alyssa’s…nine.”

“What was it? Math, wasn’t it? That’s his hardest subject.”

“Yeah, it was.” Jess remembered, putting her highlighter down.

“Crap, and I was skiing down a mountain. What a big sister.” Morgan flopped back in her chair.

“It’s fine! Morgan! Legend actually took the call. She even helped him figure it out. It was good for her confidence.”

“Well, that’s good.” Morgan sighed, relieved that someone was there to help her little brother even when she wasn’t. “So Legend’s still having a hard time with math, huh?”

“Mm…” Jess confirmed. “The hardest. But Jason’s seventh grade stuff she could handle. She was like, ‘Jess, I know pre-algebra!’ It was cute. We had a party.”

“Wow,” Morgan smiled. “I guess it worked out then.”

“Yeah, it did.”

“Thanks for dinner, Jess. We really appreciate it.” Morgan bent and kissed her friend’s head. “Don’t stay up all night with this, okay? I’ll kick your butt otherwise.”

“I won’t. Promise. I’m almost done.” Jess forced her attention back to her book as she heard Morgan leave the room.

--

Legend slept like an egg-beater. When she was awake, she was moving all the time. When she slept it was no different. But Morgan was used to her restless stirring in the sheets.

Morgan lay awake a long time, thinking of her little brother and her family. She really should go see them one of these days. Along with Liam’s calls, there had been three from her mom - all ignored - asking when she was coming home.

She knew it wasn’t so much because she was missed as it was because her parents needed a break. Her twin brother Pete was still living at home, doing almost nothing, going to work when he felt like it. Kate was supposed to graduate high school this year, but Morgan doubted that would happen. Her sister had been partying harder and harder since she was Jason’s age. The worst was a couple years ago when she came home from a friend’s to find Kate drunk, high, or both, supposedly watching ten-year-old Jason and seven-year-old Alyssa. When she came in to find her the two youngest trying desperately to clean up after Kate, so she wouldn’t be in trouble, Morgan wondered who had been watching whom, and had vowed to be there better, at least for Jason and Alyssa. Jason was on the straight and narrow, but he always was. Alyssa was nine going on fourteen. She was already much too cool for Morgan, needing a cell phone, an I-Pod, and make-up. Morgan hadn’t worn make-up until her mom forced her to in eighth grade.

Turning over, Morgan put her family problems out of her head, knowing she needed sleep if she was going to be able to transition from skiing and snowboarding to school and family life.

As she always did, Morgan prayed before she closed her eyes, putting her problems where they belonged.

In God’s hands. Not her own.