Belief: Chapter 1

TW:  unspecified medical issue, church / Christianity, hospitalization, surgery, domestic violence, ableism, traumatic brain injury



Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth.
– Henry David Thoreau

Alex heard the phone ring, and dove over the edge of her bed to reach her CD player that was on the floor in her bedroom. Irritably she hit pause, momentarily stalling her vocal exercises, and picked up the phone, which was now ringing incessantly.

“Yeah?” she answered, annoyed by the intrusion.

“Hey.” It was a single word, spoken in such a deep and rolling tone, that Alex immediately relaxed, recognizing the her fellow voice major on the other end of the call.

“Hey, Chris. What’s up?” Alex asked, sprawling on her back, and hanging her head over the edge of her bed, feeling her face grow warm.

“Not much. What about you?” he returned; he sounded tired.

Alex righted herself and grew serious for a moment. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” he sighed. “Just sorta down. You know.” Chris sighed.

“I’m sorry… You wanna talk?” Alex asked, clearing her throat.

“Nah, it’s fine. Not important,” he dismissed.

Alex caught the unspoken implication, and knew her friend well enough to leave things as they were. “You know it is important,” she said, gently. “But, since you don’t wanna talk… You wanna do warm-ups with me?” she teased.

Chris’s booming laughter was enough of an answer for Alex, and she started her CD over, instructing him, “You go low, and I’ll go high, okay?”

“All right,” he agreed. Alex could hear the smile in his voice.

As she sang, hoarseness nagged her, and she unconsciously put a hand up to her neck. Her stomach constricted as she found it again - the lump that had somehow taken up residence there. She kept two fingers on it, continuing to manipulate her voice so it sounded like a fire engine’s wail.

--

The restaurant was quiet as Missy sat, idly dipping French fries in ketchup, and waiting on Belle, who was still at the counter.

Missy studied the list of questions and smiled to herself. Belle was so young, and so curious about Biblical truth.

Belle had actually come to her, Missy remembered, letting the details come back to her. It was a Sunday, and Belle had come out of a sermon with more questions than answers.

As Missy would soon discover, it wasn’t so much the sermon that had confused Belle, but Andrew, her precocious, red-haired friend, who had insisted on giving Belle his own personal commentary on everything the pastor said.

Therefore, she had come out of the service more puzzled than ever on issues of women’s roles within the church, which she had thought she held a strong position on. Instead, Belle had sought out Missy and peppered her with questions.

And that was the beginning of their friendship.

“Hey, Melissa.”

Missy looked up. There was Belle, bubbly and optimistic, with a smile ever present.

“I wasn’t sure if you already had ketchup, so I brought you some.” Belle set it between them, and waited.

“So, you been talkin’ to Andrew, again?” Missy teased, looking over the rim of her glasses at Belle.

Belle laughed readily, stirring her malt around. “Unfortunately, no, I haven’t.”

“Otherwise the questions would be much more thought-provoking,” Missy guessed.

“Right, right.” Belle absently dipped a fry in her malt.

“That’s just wrong.” Missy eyed the skinny, coated potato and grimaced. “So, you want to get down to business here?” she asked, trying not to make it obvious that she was on a time constraint - but judging from the look on Belle’s face, she hadn’t tried hard enough.

“Sure, sorry,” Belle apologized, growing serious. Walking in, she’d noticed Melissa’s attire – the jacket and slacks, her generally untamed hair restrained in a clip – Belle knew she’d have to make this one quick.

“It’s okay. Now, let’s see what you’re wonderin’ this week,” she started pleasantly, glancing down at the list, and trying to come up with the most succinct answers as possible. From her pocket, Missy’s phone vibrated, and she took it out, prepared to turn it off, until she saw who was calling her.

“Honey, would you mind if I take this? It’s Kylie.”

“Oh sure. I’ll just go get some napkins. Tell her I said hi.” Belle got up from the table, walking far enough away to give the appearance of privacy, but close enough to overhear. She couldn’t help it. She loved Kylie, and always hoped to see her outside of church on Sundays.

“Hey, Kylie,” Missy greeted.

“I’m sorry, I know you told me you’d be out with Belle today, but I just had a question for you about tonight.”

Kylie sounded rushed. More than that, she sounded stressed, which was all too common these days. Missy sighed.

“It’s fine, Kylie. Really. What’s up?” Missy sat back, sneaking a French fry and covertly dipping it in Belle’s malt.

Sighing, Kylie continued. “You know Rob?”

“Rob, boyfriend, Rob?” Missy questioned knowingly.

“Yeah. Well, I was wondering if you thought everybody would mind if I brought him tonight. He’s not into church as far as I know, so I thought I might bring him.”

“That’s fine.” Missy paused, sensing there was more. “And…” she prompted.

“And, he’s got a sister – a baby sister, Elise. She’s about Belle’s age actually. I know you don’t know a lot about our situation right now, but… I’ll just say that Elise can’t be left on her own for long periods.”

“She’s seventeen, and can’t be on her own for a couple hours?” Missy questioned skeptically, figuring Kylie just didn’t want the girl to feel left out.

“Yeah, that’s right. I wanna respect her privacy, and not say every detail of her personal experience, if that’s all right.” Kylie explained testily. “Just trust me that she can’t be on her own. So, would it be okay if I brought both of ‘em?”

“So you wanna bring a seventeen-year-old with some kinda personal life to a college small group?" ”Missy asked irritably.

Belle rushed over then. She couldn’t help it. “Melissa, could I go?” she mouthed exaggeratedly.

“Hold on,” Missy took the phone away from her ear.

“Yes?” she looked expectantly at Belle.

“Andrew and I could go, and that way it wouldn’t be as difficult for Elise.” she explained quickly.

“You wanna field this call then?” Missy asked dryly, holding the phone out to Belle.

Undeterred, Belle took the phone. “Hello?”

“Hey, Beauty,” Kylie greeted warmly.

Belle giggled. “Do y’all think it might be easier on Elise if I came with Andrew? That way she wouldn’t be the only young one.”

“That’s a sweet idea, baby. Just ask Missy; be sure it’s okay.”

“Kylie says it’s a sweet idea, so can I do it?” Belle asked, looking hopefully at Missy.

Missy sighed and looked at her watch. “You know what? You do whatever you want. I gotta run,” she turned her attention to her phone. “Kylie, call Belle. Iron out the details.”

--

“So what’s up tonight, Mikhail?” Micah asked brightly, catapulting his impossibly small body backward onto a couch.

“If you have idea, I love to know it,” Mikhail invited, smiling broadly.

“I’ve got, like, eighty…but since we’re crunched for time, I figured we could play Bigger and Better,” Micah smiled mischievously.

“What is this game? It’s game, yes?” Mikhail questioned, perplexed, but quite sure he’d enjoy Micah’s answer.

“Yeah, it’s the best game! Okay, so say you come in and show, like…” Micah scanned the room, finally spotting something he could use as an example. “…A vase.”

Mikhail looked confused.

“This thing,” Micah held it up, as a visual aid. “So then, the next person has to go out and find something bigger or better than this.” He cackled loudly, “Dude, one time, Alex brought back a kid! Like an actual child. I think it was the neighbor’s kid or something. She won that time.” Micah supplied unnecessarily.

“This game is no good. I’ll not be good leader if I let you steal children,” Mikhail explained in all seriousness. But his eyes danced with the humorous thought of Alex capturing a strange neighbor child, just for fun.

“She knew who he was! It’s not like she took some unsuspecting kid,” Micah supplied, adjusting his bandanna.

“Are y’all talkin’ about me?” Alex called then, appearing around the corner. She spied Micah on the couch. “…About the time I borrowed Hunter, for Bigger and Better?” she speculated, recognizing the look on her friend’s face.

“Yeah, that was great!” Micah broke into peels of hyena-like laughter.

“Missy will leading us tonight, so we study Bible.” Mikhail said, though he knew it was pointless to expect to be heard over Micah.

“Uh, we may have a change in plans,” Missy said hurriedly. “Kylie called and asked if she could bring her boyfriend and his sister along. His high-school age sister, who can’t be left unattended, apparently.” Missy couldn’t keep the disgust out of her voice.

“Hey, Missy,” Alex greeted happily, embracing her – hoping to love away her stress and negativity.

“Hey you,” Missy returned, smiling in spite of herself.

She turned her attention back to Mikhail. “So, Kylie’s gonna be late, and Belle overheard the whole thing, so now she and Andrew are showing up, so the sister won’t feel awkward,” Missy finished.

“Cool beans,” Alex said, absently, launching herself onto the couch near Micah.

“Hello?” a new voice called.

“Hey! Kenzie’s here,” Micah leaped up.

True to form, Kenzie entered dramatically, decked out in a pink feather boa, leather capris with zippers, a black shirt and a newsboy hat.

“Hey, girl, awesome boa thing!” Alex greeted.

Kenzie beamed. “Do you like it?” she twirled around. “I decided to go with a little of everything today.”

“Can I try it?” Alex asked anxiously, bouncing up and down.

Kenzie unwound the boa and let Alex parade around the room with it, while more people arrived among the chaos.

Belle and Andrew showed up as early as the regulars, which peeved Missy a little bit. She would have preferred a little solitary time before the visitors came calling. But it looked like that wasn’t happening tonight.

And almost in the same rush, Julia and Chris arrived. Both were characteristically quiet. Neither usually spoke unless spoken to first. Their attendance was a bit spotty, but Mikhail was glad to see them and let them know it.

Gabe blew in about a minute before they were to start, motioning Alex aside on the already crowded couch.

“Dude, get your own seat,” Micah kidded, as Gabe squished in.

“Hey, “ he greeted, not able to break the habit of shaking hands, he immediately extended his and waited.

Laughing gently, Micah shook it, but was quickly shushed as Missy prepared to begin.

She was still unsure of whether or not to pursue her original plan and continue her previous discussion on the book of Esther, or to wait on the latecomers. Quickly, she decided to forge ahead with her original plans.

--

Kylie was late indeed. She came in about a half-hour after things had started up. Briefly, Missy breathed a sigh of relief at not seeing her in any other company. But the door banged shut again, and a short, muscular guy came in, behind his obviously shaken-up sister.

The girl was blonde, as he was. She wore cute little patterned jeans and a frilly top, but she appeared pale, and possibly close to tears.

Belle was the first to move. “Hey, Elise, right? I’m Belle. You can come and sit by me. Come on, Andrew will scoot over for you." Belle put an arm around Elise’s shoulders and guided her over to where everyone sat. “I would bring you to the couch, but I don’t think there’d be much room for one more,” she teased gently.

“Are you calling me fat?” Alex called from the couch, pretending to be wounded.

Micah guffawed obnoxiously.

“No, of course not.” Belle assured, turning her attention back to Elise.

“That’s Alex. She was just kidding. Hey, I like your pants. I have some like that!” she complimented.

And for the first time, Elise made a move to speak, mouthing “Thank you.”

“Oh, you’re welcome. Andrew, did you meet Elise? This is Elise.” Belle introduced.

“Nice to meet you,” Andrew returned, taking her hand gently, noting that she looked uncomfortable.

“Nice to meet you,” Elise returned, seeming to force her voice to make sound.

Meanwhile, Kylie kept busy introducing Rob around to everyone. Micah invited Rob to sit on the “guy couch” with himself and Gabe. Chris eyed them from across the room, raising an eyebrow.

“Chris, maybe we should trade!” Alex called, her volume remaining obnoxiously loud.

The big man chuckled. “No, thank you. I’m just fine,” he said, putting an arm around Julia.

“He’s my bodyguard,” the tiny blonde offered sweetly.

“That’s right,” Chris returned, playing along. He crossed his arms and adapted gravely serious demeanor.

“Okay, can we get back to Esther please!” Missy called.

“But Elise and Rob are much more interesting,” Kenzie called tactlessly.

Missy sat forward, closing her Bible suddenly. “All right. Don’t let me get in the way,” Missy spoke tersely. She stood and crossed into the kitchen, and out the back door.

And without a second thought, Julia went after her.

--

It took only a moment for conversation to resume, following Missy’s abrupt departure. But Rob sat silently, looking at Elise.

He doubted that anyone, even Kylie realized just how different Elise was from the girl he grew up with. He had since heard people who had known Elise prior to the attack, describe her completely different. But they had no idea how altered she was…

Rob shut his eyes, and in an instant, he saw Elise as she had been the last time he’d seen her.

He’d come home only twice since moving out on his own to go to school and work. It was Thanksgiving, and Rob had come home three years into his schooling, after his mother had begged him.

His sister had been fourteen then, and thrilled about going to high school. She had run into his embrace the minute he came in the house, and gushed about trying out for the high school gymnastics team, and he had been so proud.

Rob often joked that his short stature was only good for one sport. Gymnastics was the only sport where being small for your age was an advantage. Rob had poured himself into classes as a child, at his father’s urging.

So Elise’s involvement in the sport not only pleased Rob, but, also, honored their father. He made sure he told her when the two of them stayed up late in the night, and when Rob had shared how their dad had pushed him to compete, and how proud he would be of her, Elise had wept.

The second time was the reason Rob never went back. His mom had remarried.

Elise had only been six, himself thirteen, when their dad had died of a sudden heart attack. In her grief, his mom had wept that she would never love another man.

Ten years later, Rob felt sure his mom had abandoned her promise, and he left angry and embittered. He hadn’t gone back – too angry with his mother to even think of Elise and the danger she might be in. Rob had never seen this man get violent.

The memory took over his mind again – the memory of how beautiful Elise had looked that second time he’d been home – Christmas. Rob remembered nothing as clearly as how striking his sister looked that day. At sixteen, she was hardly a child anymore, and almost as tall as he was.

The subtle make up she wore, gave her skin a healthy glow, disguising the paleness winter often brought. She had worn a stunning black dress, which she told him secretly, she’d actually worn to a school dance earlier in the year. Then she’d begged him not to let anyone know she was wearing the dress a second time, because there was nothing more embarrassing than having everyone know that you wore an outfit twice.

Elise had been so captivating, Rob could hardly believe she had once been a gangly teenager, in that eternally awkward stage of development.

He remembered her warmth when meeting someone, and her strong sense of self.

Rob blinked and saw Elise now.

He wondered if any of them realized how close his sister had come to dying.

--

The phone had rung in the middle of the afternoon. Rob had just come home on break from work, and was prepared to walk back out the door when he heard the phone ring.

Quickly, he had snatched it up, saying a rushed, “Hello?”

The voice on the other end asked for Robert. His hand had automatically clenched around the receiver. “This is he,” he had said.

And the disembodied official-sounding voice had informed him that there had been an incident a couple nights ago involving his sister.

From that point on, everything was a blur. He had gone to the hospital immediately, in shock at finding his little sister, lying up in ICU all by herself. He checked with the nurse. Yes, the mother had been there. She had dropped her daughter off, given permission to do whatever necessary, and promptly left.

Sick revulsion filled Rob, as he went back to sit with Elise. And strangely, only then, did he remember seeing the fullness of what had been done to her.

She had no hair on one side of her head, where it had been shaved. An undeniably long scar stretched from almost her temple to behind her right ear. Her eyes were bruised and swollen shut.

Upon inquiry, Rob had learned that she had been beaten beyond recognition by the boyfriend. He’d pushed her down the stairs, before going after her with a bat…

--

Rob shook his head slightly, and found himself digging his fingers into the armrest of the couch. His knuckles were white.

He couldn’t help it, and remained absolutely fixated on his sister, and how tremendously she had changed. And she had made so much progress now. It saddened Rob to think of how much his sister had gotten stolen away from her.

Rob couldn’t miss the looks on these kids’ faces. Pitying, like she was some charity case. Like she was a lower form of humanity – some poor small child or dog that had been kicked around too many times and was now just a burden to whomever she was around.

He could recall when she had been left virtually without expressive language when she’d first regained consciousness. No one had known how much function she would retain. That had just been the beginning of the struggle.

Elise had endured brain surgery, and months of rehabilitation, which she was still in the midst of. When asked a direct question, she still froze, rendered speechless. She was being taught to wait out these episodes, and re-teach her damaged brain how to follow through with an answer when directly asked a question.

A lot of her rehab now focused on identifying pictures of simple objects, and Kylie helped out tremendously, working this concept into everyday life, often asking Elise to come and locate a certain item in a kitchen drawer. She was slowly improving, but still had trouble with balance and coordination, which was especially shocking to Rob, having seen her turn round off, back handspring combinations across the mat in the basement when he’d visited the time she was fourteen.

Rob shook his head. He was trying not to judge these people Kylie had brought him to meet, but it was proving very difficult. These were people she had met at church, and Kylie was churched. Therefore, he had naively assumed that most of them would be as kind and loving as he had found Kylie to be. Instead they were all focused on themselves, and having fun.

He really had to make a concerted effort not to pull Elise out right now. But, the more he looked, Rob found, the more he was seeing. This girl Elise’s age was really treating her well, and not looking down on her as far as he could tell. So Rob sat back, and gave Elise the chance he knew she deserved – the chance to be normal.

--

Striding purposely onto the deck behind Missy, Julia cornered her there. “Are you gonna be like this all night?” she asked honestly.

“Like what?” Missy asked, clearly uninterested.

“Completely rude?” Julia challenged.

Missy turned around, glaring. “If all you came out here to do is insult, you can go back inside.”

“So you’re not out of line?” Julia deduced, raising an eyebrow. Switching tactics, she tried again. “You know, you could just tell me what’s up, instead of carrying it all around.”

“No, I don’t believe I am out of line. And what I deal with is my business,” Missy’s tone had gone cold.

“That may be,” Julia allowed, “But now what you’re dealing with is affecting everyone you’re around. That makes it my business.”

Missy crossed her arms, annoyed by Julia’s presumptuousness. “You or anybody else here wouldn’t have the slightest idea of what I’m dealing with. I’ve got two jobs, I’ve got a house and a car to pay for. You know? What do you have? School? Which your folks are probably paying off.”

“You’re strapped, I get it. So are a lot of us.” Julia retorted. “That doesn’t give you the right to act so full of yourself, especially with new people around.”

“Wouldn’t wanna give ‘em the impression that we’re human,” Missy scoffed bitterly. “Look, all I’m sayin’ is, I barely accomplish all I have to do in twenty four hours every day. I make time for y’all because I know this is important. I take time out of my crazy schedule to figure out what to speak on, and I just don’t see the point in doing that – in stressing myself out that much, if it’s for nothing.”

“It’s not for nothing, and you know that.” Julia countered. “Just because Kenzie made some thoughtless comment doesn’t mean we don’t appreciate the effort you put into this. But Missy, I need to be honest here. You have to look outside yourself. We have two new people here. Think of how it looked to them…” Julia trailed off, leaving the obvious unspoken, hoping Missy would understand.

With new resolve, Missy turned and went back in, absolutely loathe to discover her own selfishness.