Belief: Chapter 2

TWs - rape culture / purity culture, undiagnosed medical issue, mention of cancer, mention of biopsy, domestic violence, flashbacks, ableism, restraint, bruising, prayer, Christianity, sensory overload, internalized ableism

Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Alex hesitated outside Gabe’s apartment. She was still inside her car actually - not sure what else she could do besides make a late-night visit. However, the prospect of going to a male friend’s house at 1:00 in the morning could be misconstrued, and that was the last thing Alex wanted.

Wiping her eyes, of the tears that she couldn’t keep back, Alex made a decision. She would compromise, making sure that both of them were on solid ground morally, and not at risk of bending to temptation. With this new resolve, she climbed out of the car, and approached the door, ringing his apartment.

“Gabe, come on,” she worried to herself, waiting for him to pick up. She knew he’d be there. He had to be there.

True to form, Alex rang him continually until a sleepy voice finally answered on the intercom.

“Yes?”

“It’s me.” Alex sniffled, and hoped he couldn’t hear it. “Can we talk?”

“Sure, I’ll be right down,” Gabe answered.

Shivering, Alex remained on the front steps. She was without a coat, and shoes, for that matter. Coming to Gabe’s had been a spur of the moment decision, and she hadn’t thought to grab either one.

Alex heard a muted thump as Gabe’s hands hit the glass door, pushing it open. His hair was slept-on, and he wore a wrinkled white tee shirt and navy sweatpants. A jacket was hastily slung over his arm, and, she noted wryly, he had worn shoes.

“Hey…” he spoke softly, taking her hand. “What’s up?”

“I just…I need you right now. Can we talk?” she asked, her unease showing clearly in the dark circles under her eyes.

“Sure. Where?” Gabe inquired, without requiring any further explanation.

“Can we go to the church?”

--

In a matter of minutes, the two of them were seated in the sanctuary. Gabe did the janitorial work there, and therefore, always had a set of keys. So long as they didn’t make late visits a habit, Gabe knew it was okay.

Alex preferred the sanctuary even to the enticing leather couch near to the coffee bar. There was something more distinctive about the building when it was so empty and quiet. As a child, Alex had been sure she’d love to live there.

Gabe studied Alex carefully. Her eyes looked haunted, and her usually vibrant skin was pasty. And it was only then that he realized she had come all this way, even walking around outside, without shoes or a coat.

“Oh, honey, here.” He shrugged out of his jacket and draped it around her shoulders. “Are your feet okay?”

“They’re fine,” she responded, self-consciously tucking them beneath her.

“So, what’s going on?” he asked, reaching out to hold her hand. Alex pulled away.

“I need to tell you something,” she hedged, bringing a hand to her neck, ill at ease with the topic she had to bring up.

“Okay,” Gabe’s gaze was unflinching, as he waited.

“I—“ she stopped, swallowing convulsively, and closing her eyes.

Uncomfortable suddenly, at the sight of Alex fighting for composure, Gabe couldn’t help but interject. “Oh, sweetie, what’s wrong?” Again, he reached out and brushed her hand, but she jerked away, more forcefully now.

“Gabe. Don’t touch me right now, I just—I need to say this,” her voice was determined. “What I need to say is… I found a lump.” Her grip on composure faltered for the second time, and against her will, tears fell.

Instantly, visions of female cancer victims filled his mind. With kinds of cancer only women could have. He looked at her, trying to keep a calm face for her. “Where?”

And unexpectedly, Alex took his hand, and guided it up until he touched her neck, and immediately felt something that wasn’t supposed to be there.

Resolutely, Gabe drew Alex to him – only holding tighter when she fought his embrace. He whispered gentle encouragement into her hair until she gave in and let him hold her, finally breaking down in tears she was so afraid to show.

“I’ll be here,” Gabe whispered. “Whatever you need, just tell me, and I’ll be there.”

“The doctor…” she spoke raggedly. “I’ve already been, but they want me to go to this other one, to get some kind of biopsy. It’s this week…and I don’t want anybody to know.”

“What about your parents?” Gabe asked, concerned.

“I’m twenty. I’m not going to run to them for this.”

“You know it’s not like that. They’d wanna know. They’d wanna help you.” Gabe spoke with unusual firmness.

“Well then I don’t wanna put my crap on them. It might be nothing. But if it’s not I’ll tell them later. I just can’t deal with that yet,” she said brokenly, her voice hoarse.

“Okay,” he soothed. “It’s okay, we won’t worry about it.”

“And don’t tell everybody,” she pleaded. “I don’t want them to know…not ‘til I know more.”

Gabe caught the unspoken implication. He was the secret-keeper.

--

“Elise, you almost ready to go?” Rob called. He had just enough time to give her a ride to the local hospital for rehab on his break, before he had to be back at work.

“I’m ready,” she spoke listlessly, not at all excited about their destination.

Rob rushed about, stopping briefly to question her. “Did you eat something?”

She shook her head. Today, she didn’t have the energy to lie and tell him she had.

In no time, he was in the kitchen, hurriedly throwing together a sandwich. He hoped she’d actually eat it on the way.

“I can start going,” she offered, walking unsteadily toward the door.

Rob glanced up then. “No, you wait for me right there.”

In seconds, Rob was at her side, and the two of them made their way out of the apartment. As soon as the stairs came in view, Elise backed off. Images from another time overcame her.

She remembered. No one thought she did, but she remembered.

Elise grew pale, as a flashback gripped her memory. She tried not to scream. Her mother’s boyfriend – the man her mother loved and trusted, and was planning to marry after being widowed for nearly a decade – this man had savagely attacked Elise with a baseball bat, after pushing her down a flight of stairs, much like the ones she stood before now.

With much of the damage concentrated to her head, Elise had changed in the blink of an eye, from a normal, active, happy teenager, to a brain-injured, scared, confused shadow of herself. Now, Rob was dealing with the courts to get full custody, and even parental rights. Because although the man responsible was in jail – their mother had made it perfectly clear: if anyone left, it wasn’t going to be him.

Her breathing quickened, and seemed to acquire a pitch in her frenzy. She struggled to back up, but Rob kept her there – dying inside at being witness to her pain.

“Kylie.” The word was spoken in a gasp, a desperate attempt to keep control. For some reason, Kylie’s presence comforted Elise.

Rob thought quickly. It was Friday. Kylie worked late on Fridays – sometimes she even had Fridays off. Still anchoring his sister, Rob pulled out his cell and dialed Kylie. In minutes, thank God, he saw her coming down the hall.

As was true every time he saw her, Rob’s heart skipped a beat. Not only beautiful on the outside, Kylie had proven herself as a woman of integrity, often volunteering to take Elise for a few hours, just so Rob could get a break.

Kylie’s skin was coffee-colored, and she had equally stunning, rich brown eyes. Her smile was ready and friendly. They had met in the Laundromat near the apartments. Her forthrightness had impressed Rob, as Kylie had taken the chair near Elise, who was still visibly bruised from the assault and introduced herself. He could hear the conversation even now, as if it happened yesterday…

--

“Hey. I figure I’d sit right here and wait on my clothes. If that’s okay?” Kylie had asked, smiling.

Elise was momentarily taken off-guard. “That’s fine,” she managed.

“I’m Kylie, it’s nice to meet you,” she said, squeezing Elise’s hand warmly.

And Kylie had waited, almost a full minute to hear her speak her name.

“Elise.” The sound was hoarse and labored. “That’s my brother, Robby,” she motioned to a dryer where a man about Kylie’s age was folding laundry.

Kylie saw a lot in that first glance. The most obvious was how short he was. Kylie doubted he topped five-foot-four, but he was muscular. Tanned and blonde, Robby wore a rumpled gray tee shirt and worn navy blue wind pants that crinkled with his every move. He glanced her way, and she saw dark circles beneath his eyes – he hadn’t been sleeping much. She gave him a respectful nod, and then turned her attention back to her initial reason for seating herself beside Elise.

“Elise, do you know you have beautiful eyes?” Kylie had asked genuinely, looking at her with gentle curiosity.

“Oh… They’re all black, though. I…” Elise trailed, unsure of how to explain something so personal, especially at a first meeting.

“Oh honey, I’m not lookin’ at that.” Kylie dismissed, though she couldn’t pretend she didn’t see the horrible bruises, or the haunted look that seemed to linger in her gaze. “I mean the color. They’re hazel, it’s almost like they’d change color sometimes.”

“They did… I used to notice that.” And then Elise had smiled.

What Rob had noticed above everything else, was Elise’s level of calm. She had become skittish, and generally wary of strangers, but when Rob had looked over his shoulder, and saw the smile on Elise’s face, Rob knew he’d found the right person to complete himself.

--

Snapping out of his reverie, Rob simply looked at Kylie and she moved to Elise’s side, prepared to work her magic. Rob excused himself to pull the car around.

Elise remained stalk still, eyes cloudy and face mottled. Gently, Kylie took her arm.

“Hey, ‘Lise, you wanna come with me? Come on, we’ll go down to Robby,” she spoke in a coaxing tone, as if to a small child.

Almost undetectable in the dimly lit hallway, Elise moved forward.

“All right,” Kylie breathed, relieved.

Once at the head of the stairs, Elise dropped to a seated position and scooted down them one by one. Kylie wasn’t picky about how Elise went down as long as she got where she was supposed to go.

“Good job,” Kylie commended, satisfied, once they were on ground level. The two walked out the doors, and down the concrete steps at the front of their building. Elise’s adverse reaction only came on with indoor stairs – she had no problem whatsoever with outdoor stairs.

Kylie’s heart hurt watching Elise go. She hated what had been done to her, and she hated how it had changed her. Because even though she hadn’t known the girl Elise had been, Kylie could swear she saw streaks of the same vibrancy and kindness she was sure Elise had possessed before this had taken so much of her. But such virtues, Kylie knew nothing could steal – not even something so cruel as what had been done to Elise.

With thoughts of Elise came thoughts of her friends. Walking back to her apartment, Kylie couldn’t help but puzzle over their reactions. Only Belle’s was what she had expected. Otherwise, no one paid Elise any mind. The guys were cool to Rob, but Kylie couldn’t understand why so few of them didn’t seem to notice that within Elise there hid such a sweet spirit. Why was she the only one to recognize it?

Missy was a mystery, but that was nothing new. Kylie knew she tended to become overly invested in the things she was in charge of – and didn’t take to change very well. However, Missy’s latest reaction hadn’t been expected, and certainly wasn’t becoming.

Now inside her apartment, Kylie didn’t even bother going much beyond the entry, before she knelt to pray.

“Dear Jesus, I pray You would just keep us all united to one another, and yet keep our arms open to embrace Robby and Elise into our study, God. Father I ask that You’d be there for Missy. That You’d cause her to lay down whatever is burdening her heart. And I don’t know why, but maybe keep close to Alexandra… And yeah, she’d kill me if she heard me call her that, but it’s so pretty. She just seems distracted by somethin’. So just be there for her, too. God, I just ask that You’d cause us to not only turn to You, but to each another when times get trying. I pray we’d know that we’re not fighting alone. I pray You’d make that truth clear to me… Please be here for me, and give me grace to keep doin’ this. In Your holy name I pray, Jesus. Amen.”

--

Elise reentered the apartment feeling like she could sleep for days. Her tears hadn’t stopped since she had gotten in the car with Kylie to come home.

This time, rehab had been worse than most. In speech, they had shown her a picture of a bat, and asked her to say it out loud. The result had been swift and humiliating. Instantly, memories of the assault gripped her for the second time that day. She had attempted to bolt, scurrying beneath a raised exercise mat and cowering there for the remainder of the session, until Kylie had been called.

And not only had she been called, Kylie had needed to come in and coax her out. After being pursued by a couple hospital personnel coming out of hiding just didn’t appeal to her, and she had stayed put, deciding it was just better to wait them out.

Now, Kylie was there again. Since Robby had only been home for a little bit on his break, now Kylie was staying with Elise until his shift ended.

Elise couldn’t help feeling guilty at all the trouble she had caused, but Kylie had been good to her through all of it – never heaping blame back on Elise’s shoulders, as she was used to from her mother and her mother’s boyfriend.

Kylie had settled Elise in Rob’s room – something she did every time Rob was at work. She just didn’t feel right about having Elise, with all her sore muscles trying to relax on such a formidable piece of furniture as a pull out couch. Kylie’s logic was that even if you weren’t injured, you’d be sure to come off that thing in pain. But she kept her joking quiet around Rob. She knew he was doing the best he could. Kylie just wanted Elise to be comfortable.

The phone rang, and Elise jumped. A moment later, she heard Kylie. “’Lise, it’s for you; you wanna pick it up in there?”

Feeling sluggish and confused she glanced briefly at the extension on Rob’s bedside table, before deciding that that was what Kylie meant.

“Hello?” she asked, sounding completely defeated - not even much caring or curious about who might be calling her.

“Elise?” a voice questioned. “This is Alex. We met last night?” Alex tried, hoping the girl would recall who she was.

“Oh… You were at that thing, yeah.” Elise remembered.

“Yeah. Anyway, some of us are getting together over at Micah’s – you know, the hyper guy your brother sat by? And I wanted to see if you wanna come hang out with us.” Alex asked curiously.

“Can my brother come?” Elise asked haltingly, a little overwhelmed by the quantity of information she had just received. She’d held onto the one subject that meant anything to her – a mention of Robby.

“Your brother would be more than welcome to come for sure, but Kylie said he’s working tonight, right?”

“Oh yeah,” Elise remembered, feeling sheepish. “Well, I…I guess I could go. If Kylie said it was okay.”

“Yeah, she said it’s fine if you wanted to,” Alex passed on. “She offered to take you, and then, if you’re okay, one of us there can drop you back off.”

“All right,” Elise agreed. And, afterward, she wondered what she’d gotten herself into.

--

An hour later, Kylie had dropped Elise off at Micah’s. Before she left, Kylie had sought out Gabe, the most responsible person she knew, and asked him to please be sure Alex brought Elise back in an hour. He promised to make sure, and Kylie took him at his word.

Elise wasn’t at Micah’s five minutes before she decided she had made a mistake. Just the amount of noise concentrated in such a small place made Elise’s head throb. She curled up on the couch, while the rest of the guests talked and laughed in the next room.

--

Kylie’s words echoed in Gabe’s mind, and he looked across the kitchen to see Alex tromping after Micah, in an attempt to steal his brownie. He understood that while Alex was often well intentioned, she was also terribly distractible and had probably forgotten all about Elise. Gabe quietly made his way to the other room and immediately saw Elise on the couch, looking miserable.

“Hey. Are you okay?” he asked, perching on the arm of the couch.

Elise sat up quickly, and the motion caused the pain in her head to increase to so much it was almost intolerable. Within seconds she was crying, and turned her face away from this guy, not wanting him to notice or speak to her.

At a loss, Gabe stood up and went back to the kitchen where chaos was still reigning.

Alex was nowhere to be seen. He sighed.

“Hey, guys? Can you keep it down? Elise doesn’t look like she feels good,” Gabe asked.

Kenzie turned, looking confused. “Why’d she come if she feels like crap?”

“Like that matters,” Micah dismissed, “Okay everyone, keep it down!” he hollered. “Why don’t we go worship or pray or something,” he offered.

--

Unfortunately for Elise, the four of them decided that the living room where she had commandeered the sofa was the exact place they decided they wanted to gather.

Elise was mystified. Someone had taken out a guitar and now they were singing. Alex had said this was a party. Instead they all sat around the living room singing songs, and ignoring her. She thought because Alex invited her, that maybe these people cared about her, and it mattered to them how she was doing, but judging from their complete disregard for her, Elise doubted that was true.

Shifting, she stood up, feeling foggy and disoriented. She’d never been to this apartment before, and was easily mixed up by even the most simple layout and location of things. Elise’s foot caught on something and she looked down to see she had managed to trip over Kenzie’s outstretched leg.

Kenzie glanced up, and saw the teenager standing there, looking really lost.

She poked at Alex, who was occupied with adding her soulful vocals to This Is How It Feels To Be Free, which Gabe backed expertly on the guitar.

Once she had Alex’s attention, Kenzie nodded pointedly at Elise, who had remained where she was, and appeared to be searching for something.

Quickly, Alex stood, and went to her. She glanced quickly down at her watch, thinking that they had lost track of time. But it only read 7:22. Alex sighed. Elise hadn’t even made it a half-hour.

“Do you wanna leave?” Alex asked, already knowing the answer.

Elise nodded dejectedly.

--

“I’m sorry you didn’t enjoy yourself more,” Alex apologized sincerely.

“It was too loud,” Elise complained pitifully, “And no one wanted me there anyway,” she dismissed, her tone changing altogether.

Alex glanced at her, surprised. “I wanted you there.”

“And it wasn’t even a party,” Elise rambled tiredly, “There was singing.”

“No, it was still a party,” Alex explained, smiling.

“Was not,” Elise argued irritably. “Parties are fun; that was boring.”

“Well, I’ll tell you what. Next time, I’ll throw the party, and I’ll make sure it’s fun. And I’ll do it on a night when Rob and Kylie can come too, how’s that?”

“Good idea,” Elise mumbled unenthusiastically.

Alex laughed in spite of the situation. This girl was hilarious without even trying.

Sobering, she studied Elise. “Are you feelin’ okay?”

Elise sighed. “My head hurts.”

“I’m sorry. Do you want something for it?” Alex asked. “Or did you take something already?”

“I don’t remember.”

“Okay, well we’re almost to your place, okay? Hang in there.” Alex murmured sympathetically.

There was a pause, and then Elise looked toward Alex, her brow crinkled curiously. “Are you sick?” she asked.

“No, I’m not. Do I sound sick?” Alex asked easily, her stomach flipping at the sudden interest in her own well being.

“Like…congested, or something,” Elise tried.

“There’s something wrong with my voice,” Alex confided. “But we don’t know what yet. That’s why it sounds weird.”

“I’m sorry,” Elise sounded regretful. “That’s scary,” she reached out and covered Alex’s hand, which was still on the steering wheel.

Alex felt her heart race at the show of sympathy. She hadn’t expected it. Least of all from Elise, who looked to have her own problems to deal with. No one outside of Gabe knew of her condition, and she hadn’t planned on sharing it with anyone else. But Elise’s reaction floored her. She had barely known Alex a day, seemed petrified of new situations and people, and here she was comforting Alex.

“Thank you,” she offered breathlessly.

And in return, Elise offered a sad smile.

--

The last thing any of them expected was to have one more person joining what used to be a somewhat intimate gathering. But Jared showed up in the midst of their prayer that week, introducing himself plainly, and telling them all he’d seen this cell group in the church bulletin and decided to come and check it out.

He had come to church only a few times, and no one recalled seeing him. It was an unspoken truth, though, that no one actually believed him to have been there. If he had, he would have been recognized right away.

Minutes after his initial introduction, Jared casually mentioned that he had been in a car accident a few months back. As a result, he’d become a paraplegic. His attitude while sharing such personal information floored everyone watching. Some had yet to take their eyes off his wheelchair. Jared tried not to let it get to him, reasoning that after they got used to him, they wouldn’t feel so compelled to gawk at him.

Jared did notice two faces that studied him, and ignored his chair - a guy and a girl who looked to be siblings. They were both blond and really short, though, Jared had to admit that the guy took the prize for the shortest guy he’d ever seen who didn’t have some kind of medical reason for being short-stature. The girl was a little more perplexing. She was one of those who he’d seen only a couple times in his life, the type who appeared eternally afraid, even when they smiled. But Jared liked them right away.

He also liked the girl who had unabashedly approached him, stuck out her hand and introduced herself, after he had given all his own particulars.

“Alex,” she had said, and he had made a note to remember it, immediately liking her fearlessness, and friendly personality. Plus, she had come looking like she’d just rolled out of bed, so she must have been sufficiently comfortable with herself.

Elise looked at Jared. She had seen lots of people like him in the hospital. At least, people in wheelchairs – she wasn’t sure how many were paralyzed. She studied him. He dressed really nicely in slacks and a dress shirt. She wondered if he’d just gotten off work. His hair was longish. Not skater-long, she noticed, but cut more like he belonged in another era. Maybe the seventies. But it kind of worked on him. Elise smiled in his direction, wanting him to feel at ease here, knowing how long it had taken her to get used to this group – honestly she was still getting used to them.

The study eventually got underway, but Jared couldn’t help but feel the covert stares of everyone around him glancing his way. He found himself angry, when he noticed the young, blonde girl who had actually looked him in the eye when he first came. She was sitting so calmly, while tears tracked down her cheeks. He wondered if he was the only one who noticed how lost she looked. But the brother was pretty attentive and Jared could tell he was aware of it, but chose not to draw a wealth of attention to it. Not that the majority of them would have known, they were so focused on him.

Elise couldn’t remember feeling more stupid. Not even in rehab, trying to identify pictures of windows and chairs did she find herself feeling so unintelligent. This whole Bible study thing flew right over her head. She hated how Missy tended to say things like, “You all know the story of the prodigal son,” or “obviously you’ve heard about the five loaves and two fish.” Because Elise hadn’t, and statements like that made her feel like she should have. She wished someone would comfort her. Elise looked around her.

Rob could tell she was upset, but he thought they were just normal tears, and hadn’t moved to put an arm around her. Belle was commenting, and Andrew was countering everything she said with an alternate theory. So she was no help either. Kylie was busy taking notes in her journal as Missy talked. Elise felt her heart sinking even further.

Glancing up for a moment, Elise noticed Alex mouthing something in an over exaggerated way, and looking right at her. Finally, she stage-whispered, and Elise understood.

“Are you okay?”

Uncomfortable, Elise shrugged, not wanting to admit too much. As it was, no one noticed her, and everyone stared at Jared.

Alex sat forward briefly, and scribbled something in her notebook. She turned it around, flashing it briefly at Elise. A crude smiling face with lots of teeth was aimed at Elise. Alex appeared behind her drawing, a goofy grin spreading across her face.

Peeking up again, Elise offered a tiny smile in return. But she couldn’t shake the desire to become absolutely invisible, so that her peers would have a reason to act like she didn’t exist.

From across the room, Alex sighed. She hoped Rob, Elise and Kylie would stay around long enough so she could talk to Elise before they left.

--

“So, Jared, is it?” Micah asked, bounding up to the newcomer.

“Yeah,” Jared returned. “And you are?” he prompted.

“Micah. So how fast can you make this thing go?” he asked curiously.

Jared sighed, trying really hard not to be annoyed. “Probably about as fast as I push myself,” he said dryly.

“Can I try it?”

Jared stared. “Are you kidding me?”

“No, I really wanna try it,” Micah insisted, missing Jared’s meaning. Slowly, a thought occurred to him. “Oh. Or, can’t you get out of that thing?”

Angrily, Jared wheeled over to the couch. Pure adrenaline made it possible for him to accomplish the complicated pivot that was required to get himself onto the couch.

Obliviously, Micah spun the chair around, and happily sat in it, cruising around the room. Immediately, Kenzie noticed, and got behind him to push.

From his position now, Jared seethed. He would never admit how vulnerable he felt without his chair. He wished he hadn’t let his temper take over in that moment, because it was looking pretty clear that it was going to be a while before the chair was returned to him.

--

Meanwhile, Alex managed to snag Elise, and lead her away from Belle and Andrew. “Can I talk to you?” she asked, sitting on the bottom step of the staircase, since it was around the corner from the majority of the chaos.

Elise stared, momentarily transfixed by the sight of the huge staircase. Purposely, she knelt on the floor in front of Alex. She nodded.

“You just looked upset earlier…” Alex trailed, hoping she wouldn’t make things worse.

Elise sighed. “It’s because I’m dumb as a brick,” she said disgustedly.

Alex tried to hide her shock. She couldn’t think of anything to say to that.

“I don’t know anything about what that main girl talks about all the time, but she acts like everyone knows it. Everyone but me. Robby probably even knows more than me,” Elise speculated sadly. She felt her eyes well up again, and put a hand to her forehead to shield her tears from Alex.

Alex sat quietly for a time. Finally she spoke, saying the one thing she was certain of. “You’re not dumb. I remember a couple years ago when I didn’t know the Bible very well, and I hadn’t been to church that long. Eventually, Kylie saw me looking confused and offered to show me where things were, and explain stuff to me. It really helped.”

Elise looked at Alex curiously, almost unable to think of Kylie in any other context than that she was Robby’s girlfriend.

“So,” Alex continued. “If you wanted, you can sit by me and I can point things out to you, and we can talk about them. Or you could just ask Belle. She loves explaining things, and talking about the Bible,” she offered.

Elise nodded.

“Okay?” Alex asked. “I need to go right now and talk to Jared – he’s kind of stranded on the couch right now.”

Wordlessly, Elise followed, not wanting to be abandoned near the stairs.

--

“Hey, Jared,” Alex greeted, sitting down. “What’s up?”

“Oh, not much,” he returned through gritted teeth.

“Did you not want them to use your wheelchair?” Alex looked concerned, following Jared’s glare to where Kenzie was now seated in it, taking corners so sharp she almost tipped it over.

“Not particularly, but that Micah was talkin’ to me like some charity case, thinking I couldn’t do anything for myself, so…” Jared trailed off, sounding more and more irritated.

Not even blinking, Alex hollered, “Kenzie, come here with that!”

“Okay! Hold on!” Micah called from behind her, speeding over to the couch.

Jared shifted his weight, and looked critically up at Micah. “You know what, dude? That thing’s kinda mine. And I’d appreciate it if you didn’t talk to me like I can’t do shit for myself,” Jared spat. He turned to Alex then. “Thanks.”

“No problem.” Alex called back.

In a matter of moments, Jared was in his chair and out the door, leaving Micah, Kenzie and Alex staring at one another.

“What was his problem?” Kenzie wondered in a comical voice, and then, noticing Gabe with coffee, she quickly switched focus. “Gabey baby! Where’s the caffeine?” She asked loudly, slinging an arm around his neck.

“The caffeine is in the pot,” he laughed. “Not that you need any.”

That left Micah and Alex. Micah wasn’t happy. “What was that? What did you say to him?” he turned accusing eyes on Alex.

“What?” she exclaimed, “I didn’t say anything! What kind of Stone Age are you living in, that you don’t think people can think for themselves? He’s a person, Micah!”

“I know he is! I just thought his chair was cool, I never said he wasn’t a person!”

“You better watch how you treat people,” Alex warned. “And if the first thing you said to him was about his chair, you probably made him feel pretty crappy. Did you even say hello, or ask how he was doing?”

“I asked his name,” Micah defended, growing agitated at being in such a position.

Alex stared at him. “Did you? Did you ask him because you wanted to really know? Or because you wanted to take his chair for a spin?”

“Okay, I get your point.” Micah put his hands up, surrendering, knowing he would never win an argument with Alex. “I screwed up,” he admitted.

Alex relented finally, realizing that he found the error in his ways. “Okay,” she softened. “I’m sorry for being so harsh about it. I jut hate seeing people feel like they don’t fit,” she admitted, an unnatural heaviness settling in her chest.

“I’ll talk to him,” Micah reassured.

Alex was glad, but she couldn’t shake the feeling that their overall reason for holding the cell group was being eclipsed by personal agendas and opinions. She felt wrong even identifying with them, but at the same time, Alex knew that they needed one another. So she vowed to stay, and continue helping out where she could, praying that Jared and Elise would stay out the awkward phase and realize they were a part of something so much greater than a small group. They were a part of the body of Christ. Now, if only they could start living like it.