Belief: Chapter 6

We shall show mercy, but we shall not ask for it.
- Sir Winston Churchill

Alex felt herself growing sick at the thought of sharing what she had to tonight. She was prepared to go into it right away, before they had a chance to go off on other topics of conversation. She wasn’t going to break in dramatically, she would simply tell them.

But it was proving difficult. Alex’s heart ached watching Kenzie warble along to some song on the radio. Alex recognized it, as she did almost every song that played, but wished she didn’t. Alex couldn’t imagine just breaking in and sharing this news. She hadn’t even told Gabe what her results showed.

She still felt anxiety numb her whenever she thought about it. They weren’t definitive. No cancer to speak of, but there was no way to know for sure. Just that thought was enough to drive Alex crazy, she was sure. She would have almost preferred to have been told she had cancer, because at least that way she would know. Doctors were taking the precaution of surgery to remove the node anyway, simply because it was so difficult to tell one way or the other.

Alex had purposely worn her hair up that night, hoping the small bandage she wore would spark curiosity. Instead, she felt unspeakable hurt at Micah’s bold speculation of love bites and insensitive questioning of her character.

Silently, Alex watched as everyone carried on. Normally, she would have been right in the middle of it all, but she just couldn’t bring herself to do it tonight. Her life was changing. She couldn’t pretend it wasn’t.

When Mikhail finally opened them all in prayer and then shared that they’d be praying for one another that night, Alex felt her face burn. She almost left, at the thought of everyone hypocritically bowing their heads and asking God for the same things they always did; patience, strength, to be a light, to show His love. But did their demeanor ever change?

She looked at Rob and Elise wondering why on earth they were still coming. Alex knew how they were treated. She knew no one had asked what Rob was dealing with or how Elise was feeling. And Alex almost felt more shame at their collective, unspoken attitude toward Kylie; their unfeeling judgment of her for dating a non-Christian, and for taking on this mother’s role, when she had no obligation to do so.

Alex rubbed her eyes wearily. More often now, she was questioning her commitment to this group of friends. But looking at them one by one even the newcomers like Belle, Andrew, Rob, Elise and Jared, Alex knew why she came, and she knew why she couldn’t leave them. God had a reason to have them all together like they were. He had a purpose for putting so many different kinds of people in a room together each week, and Alex knew that if she left, she’d be leaving an opportunity behind as well.

She listened attentively as Missy shared her difficulties on the job, and Jared confided his trouble getting used to living as a paraplegic. He still had dreams he was walking, he still woke up every day realizing again that his legs were useless. And Alex hadn’t thought twice before laying her hands on them both, fervently calling upon God to give them His peace.

A good portion of them had gotten prayer by the time people started to trickle out. They didn’t have an official time when things ended, but Alex still felt her pain increase as people left, and no one, not even Gabe had pulled her aside and asked her what was going on with her test results.

Before she lost her nerve, Alex stood and addressed the remaining people in the room.

“I just wanted to let you all know that I’m having surgery in a couple days.” People left even as she spoke. “And yeah…” she trailed off, feeling stupid for even opening her mouth.

Alex looked around. Chris hadn’t shown up that week, and Gabe had scurried off before she’d had the chance to say anything. Heaviness settled in her chest, and Alex quickly gathered her coat, and made for the door.

“Alex?” a voice she didn’t recognize called.

She turned, and saw Rob standing there, worry showing unmistakably in his eyes. Alex automatically sought out Elise and found her at the table, having a cookie with Belle and Andrew as Andrew did some impersonation of a drunk man singing. He was swaggering, slurring and holding an empty wine glass, much to Belle’s delight. He had clearly done this one before.

Elise looked at ease, and though she didn’t eat much of the cookie she held, Alex knew she was in the best company possible. Andrew had come alive suddenly in a way that Alex hadn’t previously seen. He definitely had his own spark that she was starting to see. Oftentimes, Andrew lingered in the shadows, as Belle went forward and was noticed for doing the honorable thing. Alex smiled. Andrew obviously had his own unique gifts, and Alex was glad that they were finally starting to show.

“Yes?” she questioned, feeling uncomfortable for reasons she didn’t know.

“I just wanted to let you know… I think it sucks nobody listened to you…” he trailed off. His voice was so quiet she had to lean in to hear it.

“It’s no big deal,” she shrugged. “They’re used to me standing up and making pointless announcements,” she dismissed.

Rob shook his head. “I just wanted…I mean if there’s anything we can do. At least let me know when and where, so Kylie can pray about it and stuff,” he offered.

“It’s Monday…and it’s on my thyroid. They’re removing something… It’ll be up at St. Joseph’s,” Alex relayed awkwardly, feeling strange sharing such personal details with a guy she barely knew.

“Elise is at St. Joseph’s sometimes. Maybe we can stop in, and say hi,” he said, smiling.

Alex relaxed, returning the smile. “Yeah, I’d love visitors. You can pass that on if you want.”

“I will,” Rob nodded. “Hey, and good luck with everything.”

And Alex waved behind her before disappearing out the door.

--

Rob was having an undeniably good day. Work had gone by fast, and Elise and Kylie were concocting something in the kitchen when he got home. Though they seemed to be doing just fine, Rob was never content just sitting still, especially when there was work to be done. So he set the table, listening to the two people he loved most carry on behind him about Rob’s many adventures trying to master grilled cheese.

Supper was enjoyable, though Rob always felt it went by too quickly. Elise actually seemed to be regaining an appetite, which made Rob unspeakably happy. Kylie had stayed long enough to help clean up and then had left to go back to her place.

Elise predictably sat at the table once it was cleared, and set to work on her latest assignment from the brain therapist, Carrie. She hated writing now. It looked childish, as she had not only lost a lot of her ability to figure out how to spell certain words, but the dexterity in her left hand had been affected. It was like learning to write all over again.

She heard the phone ring across the kitchen, and Rob went to pick it up.

“Hey, hon’ what’d you forget?” he greeted easily.

Elise smiled. Kylie was notorious for leaving her purse, sweatshirt, or some personal item behind once she left. It was a running joke that their goodbyes were never for long, since Rob would undoubtedly come by Kylie’s to drop the lost article back by her place.

But this was different, Elise realized almost immediately.

Rob’s face went pale, and he gripped the receiver. It was their mother.

“What do you want?” he asked coldly, his face becoming a mask of disdain.

“Why are you putting me through this?” the voice on the other end wept brokenly. “Insisting on dragging me through the courts, making the man I love look like a monster—“

Rob cut her off. “I’m putting you through this?” he asked lowly. “What about you?” he asked, aware of Elise sitting just behind him.

“Honey, I already lost your dad, and you and your sister. My husband’s in jail, now if you insist on taking Elise that’s fine. But haven’t we all been punished enough? Won’t you just let this court idea drop?” she begged.

“Why should I do anything for you?” Rob demanded. “And what about the hell we’ve been through? But I guess that doesn’t matter, since you’re not around to see the affect he still has on Elise! You’re not here night after night when she wakes up screaming until she has no voice left, because he terrorized her! You aren’t around to see her panic every time she goes in or out of our apartment because there’s a staircase! You didn’t sit in the hospital with her, day after day, just praying that she’d be able to wake up and recognize you! You didn’t do that because you made your choice, and it wasn’t her!”

Behind him, and forgotten, Elise trembled. She’d never heard Robby so angry before. He hadn’t even turned around when she’d choked out, “Don’t,” begging him to stop yelling at their mother.

Stumbling back, Elise managed to get out the door, while inside, Robby continued to scream at the woman on the phone, not even turning around.

--

Elise went next door, wishing she had found Kylie’s apartment, but too tired to remember where it was. Instead, she knocked at their neighbor’s.

Evelyn was an elderly lady in her sixties – she was sweet, exactly the way Elise envisioned Kylie to be when she was a grandmother. She invited Elise in right away, offering her a chair.

Elise forced herself to speak up, before Rob would have the chance to miss her. “Can I use your phone, please?”

“Sure, baby,” Evelyn brought the cordless to her, and stood back.

Elise tried to think clearly as she studied the blue ink on her hand. Belle had written down her number when she’d spent the night. Now Elise prayed she could read it, and dial correctly.

“Hello?” Belle’s voice.

Elise tried to speak, but her voice cut out, with the stress of the moment. She couldn’t remember her brother ever speaking to anyone like that, much less their mom.

“Hello?” Belle asked again, sounding a little more annoyed. Then, she hung up.

Determined, Elise called back, and waited. Predictably, Belle answered again. Elise took a couple deep breaths, trying to relax, so her voice would have more chance of coming back. But apparently nothing was soon enough for Belle, who promptly hung up, after hearing someone breathing for several seconds on the other end.

For a third time, Elise called back, and managed to squeak out a “don’t” before Belle got aggravated and hung up.

“Who is this?” Belle asked, realizing suddenly that she knew who the caller was, but couldn’t place the voice.

“’Lise… It’s Elise,” she finally managed.

“Elise? Where are you calling from? Are you okay?”

“No,” Elise admitted, thankful beyond words that she could answer a simple yes or no question rather than being forced to providing a lengthy explanation.

“Do you need me? I can come get you,” Belle offered, feeling a little concerned now. If Elise was calling her, then she obviously didn’t have the option of Rob or Kylie.

“Okay,” Elise nodded.

So Belle started on her way, and in fifteen minutes, she was there. On her way up to the apartments she kept Kylie’s words in the front of her mind. This was a bad neighborhood. So Belle had walked with a purposeful dignity that dared anyone to mess with her.

Elise was difficult to miss, hedging at the top of the stairs.

Belle walked quickly up them and met her, immediately taking her arm and walking down. Elise barely had time to think, or even to feel scared, because Belle was so sure. Seconds later, they were in Belle’s car.

“So, what’s going on?” Belle asked in a no-nonsense manner. Elise looked the way Belle predicted, based on her silence on the phone – overwhelmed.

Elise played with the cuff of one sleeve, trying to think of how she could convey everything that had gone on. It turned out that it was simpler than she imagined, because the words just came now that she was away from the stress.

“Robby was yelling at my mom on the phone,” she explained, trembling at the memory. “He was really mad at her for not being there for us when I was in the hospital.”

Belle kept quiet about how much she’d like to yell at their mother, too. Elise didn’t deserve a mother like that and neither did Rob. She forced herself to nod understandingly, not wanting Elise to go silent in fear again.

“He was really mad… He told her about my nightmares and stuff, and how I still don’t sleep…” her voice broke. “I just wish he wouldn’t do that. I know he’ll never let me go back, and I don’t even care about that, but he’s so upset about everything that happened. I wish he’d just know that it’s not her fault. It’s mine.” Elise dropped her head over her lap, letting her hair hang around her face, so Belle couldn’t see her tears.

Belle couldn’t stop her reaction this time, driving silently until they reached her own driveway. Once they pulled in, as expected, Elise remained in the seat. Belle took that opportunity to say what was needed.

“I thought you knew that when he hurt you, it was wrong,” Belle spoke tenderly, brushing the hair back out of Elise’s face.

Elise nodded, tipping her head slightly away from the touch she felt. “But he wouldn’t have had to if I’d just done what he asked of me…” her tone begged every word to be true. Elise could feel her speech start to leave her, and she wept.

Belle’s eyes filled with tears, and she scooted across the seat, and right next to Elise. “Sweetheart, nobody has the right to hurt anybody else. You’re no different. Nobody has the right to hurt you, even if you don’t do what they ask. That doesn’t matter. You’re a human being, and you didn’t deserve any of what was done to you. God never meant for people to treat each other in that way.” Belle felt tears wetting her face, and didn’t care. She held Elise, and begged God to show truth to this girl who was so broken.

For a long time, Elise just sat. Eventually relaxing into Belle’s embrace, and accepting the love she felt. Deep down inside she did know better. She was smart enough to know that people weren’t meant to hurt other people. She’d had a daddy who treated her well, so she knew what they were supposed to be like. It was just easier to excuse the behavior as acceptable punishment because she wasn’t worth any more than that, than it was to admit that neither her mom nor her stepfather loved her.

Finally, Elise pulled back and wiped her eyes.

“Hey, you wanna go meet my mama?” Belle asked, smiling.

Elise nodded, and together they went inside.

--

On the phone, Rob’s mom was sobbing now. “Can’t we just get past this huge courtroom drama? We don’t need that. If you want Elise, you can have her. I’ll sign the papers gladly, but there’s no need for a fight, don’t you see that? I don’t want her.”

Rob saw red, but managed a strained, “Fine,” before slamming the phone down, and turning his rage on the apartment. He couldn’t believe he was flesh and blood of such a woman.

Angrily, he overturned chairs, and even the kitchen table. It wasn’t until he turned the table over that Rob noticed the yellow paper fluttering to the floor. Then it hit him. Elise was gone.

In a moment, Rob felt sheer panic racing through him. He tore the apartment apart looking for where she might be. Foolishly, he thought back to when she was a child, and was prone to hiding in small spaces, so he checked every one in their cramped apartment. He didn’t find her.

Dashing out the door - too frazzled to realize that it had stood open - he rushed to Kylie’s door and pounded on it. She pulled it open, looking startled.

“Is Elise here?” he gasped.

Kylie shook her head.

“I lost her,” he explained in a rush. “My mother called and I was all over her and forgot completely that Elise was even there. I must have scared the shit out of her. I have no idea where she went…I lost her, and my mother wants to just sign her over to me… Where is she?” Rob’s eyes darted everywhere, as if he expected Elise to just appear out of nowhere.

Wordlessly, Kylie drew Rob to herself, and held him for a moment. “You’re doin’ just fine. Don’t worry about it. She can’t have gone too far. I’ll help you look.”

Together, they set out, looking up and down all the hallways, knowing that Elise would never navigate the stairs alone. They kept their search concentrated to the second floor. Unashamed, Kylie prayed steadfastly for guidance.

--

Elise had been introduced to Belle’s mother, Sherry, a portly, sweet woman, who reminded Elise of her grandmother or Grandma Sadie from church.

Belle and Elise had taken to relaxing on the couch.

“You believe what I said before?” Belle asked.

Elise shrugged, not wanting to admit that she even remembered the conversation. She had always hated crying, due to actual emotion, so it seemed extra cruel to have endured a head injury that caused random crying, in addition to the rest.

“What do you need convincing on?” Belle continued, harping on the subject, knowing perfectly well that Elise remembered their conversation.

“I don’t,” Elise denied.

“Girls,” Sherry called from the next room. “Belle, honey, does Elise’s family know where she is?”

Elise’s eyes went wide, thinking of Robby and Kylie searching high and low for her.

“It’s okay, we’ll call them.” Belle pulled out her cell phone and dialed Kylie’s number.

--

“Hi, Kylie? It’s Belle. Elise is with me. I picked her up.”

“Oh, thank You, Lord,” Kylie prayed. “She all right?”

“She’s fine. I just thought we should call.”

“All right, honey, thank you,” Kylie returned.

“Does Robby want to talk to her?” Belle asked.

Kylie gave a sidelong glance and decided. “No, that’s fine. Call a little later and we can come pick her up.”

With that, Kylie hung up and turned to Rob. “She’s all right. She’s with Belle,” Kylie reassured, hoping with that bit of news, he could relax.

But the stress had been too much for him. With the news that Elise was safe, he couldn’t keep it together anymore, falling against Kylie’s shoulder. She wasn’t sure what was going on until she felt him trembling, and felt tears soak her shirt. She didn’t speak a word, knowing it wasn’t necessary.

--

Still, Belle studied Elise, not letting her off the hook that easily. “Seriously. What can I do?”

And the answer was so soft, Belle wasn’t sure she heard it.

“Just keep telling me until I believe…”

--

Disregarding Kylie’s earlier statement, Belle drove Elise home. The two didn’t speak much, but Belle found she didn’t mind, content listening to the radio and holding Elise’s hand.

Kylie was waiting inside, and couldn’t keep back her lecture when she saw that Belle had taken it upon herself to drive Elise back.

“Belle,” Kylie sighed. “I told you I’d come. I don’t like you drivin’ out here like this,” she couldn’t keep the disapproval out of her voice.

“It’s okay,” Belle dismissed, though she hoped to put across that she was paying attention. “I’m careful,” she assured.

“Honey, it don’t matter how mean you make yourself look comin’ up here. I hate to point this out, but you’re bein’ female and white, and lookin’ well-off makes you a target here.”

“I’m sorry,” Belle apologized sincerely. “Next time I won’t come alone,” she compromised.

Minutes later, Kylie and Elise were alone. Kylie ushered Elise up the stairs, beginning to realize that the more she was exposed to them, the less adverse her reaction seemed to be.

Once they ascended, Kylie took a breath, knowing she had a thing or two to tell Elise as well.

“You know Rob’s real upset about you takin’ off the way you did,” Kylie started, studying her face for a reaction. It showed none. “Without lettin’ him know where you’d be…” she hinted, hoping to elicit some kind of response.

“But we called,” Elise reasoned, looking confused.

“You called, and that’s good.” Kylie agreed. “But you can’t be goin’ off without tellin’ people where you’ll be. People worry about you.” Kylie stressed, her tone sounding strangely maternal.

Frustrated at the correction she was getting, Elise clenched her teeth. “…I didn’t just leave,” she almost spat. “They were yelling, and I had to get out. I didn’t think to get in the middle of the confrontation and let ‘em know where I was going. I didn’t even know where I was going…” she admitted.

“Watch your tone, baby,” Kylie warned softly.

It hit Elise then that for once she was being reprimanded and she didn’t feel threatened. The realization didn’t bring the relief that she had hoped, but instead, made her more agitated than before.

“You need to let me or Rob know where you’ll be.” Kylie insisted. “I know you didn’t know. I’m not comin’ down on you for it, I’m just tellin’ you that this is important. You can’t just disappear.”

“My mom never cared if I went anywhere…” Elise balked. “They wanted me to go.” She persisted, her last statement sounding close to defiant.

“You’re not at your mama’s house. We got different rules for you here. You’ve never been hurt like you were at your mama’s house, and we’re gonna make sure that doesn’t happen. Just like that’s different, Rob and I want to know where you are. You’re important to us. Robby’s just upset, that’s all I’m sayin’.”

“Yeah, I get it,” Elise snapped. “I suck.”

The two of them had stopped briefly just outside Rob’s apartment, but with her final statement, Elise went inside, leaving Kylie standing alone outside the door.

“What was that?” Rob asked, still shaken up from not being able to find Elise for so long. He was pacing the room, and his eyes were dark, suspecting that he already knew the answer.

Flopping on the couch, Elise continued to sulk. “Nothing.”

Rob sighed, still exhausted from searching for her. He couldn’t muster up the same parental instinct as Kylie, but he knew that even as a big brother, he ought to say something.

“Respect is really important when you’re talking to people,” he scolded mildly, looking like he could care less.

Elise panicked, and expertly hid it – doing the only thing she could to escalate the situation, and nailed him for his own behavior.

“Respect? You mean like you were respecting Mom?” Elise challenged, wishing her brother would stop pretending – that he would just hit her and get it over with.

“That wasn’t the same,” Robby countered, sounding bored.

“Oh, yeah right. You can’t think I’m that stupid,” she challenged, waiting on the inevitable – for him to admit that he, in fact, did think she was that stupid. Elise flushed when she heard nothing, getting more anxious as his demeanor remained unchanged.

“Stop it,” Rob scolded softly, not understanding her sudden interest in challenging him and talking back. He knew it wasn’t typical for her, and refused to react.

“Quit acting like you don’t care!” she exclaimed. “Come on,” Elise stepped up, taunting him with a look, daring him to swing.

“What are you talking about?” he asked, sitting down across the room from her.

Elise felt her legs shaking, and willed herself to stay upright. “I know you’re pissed off that I left without telling you, and for being snotty to your girlfriend, so stop with the macho act, and be pissed off!” she shouted.

“I was worried,” Rob corrected. “I was never upset.”

“Cop-out,” Elise spoke the insult like the foulest name she could come up with. “Be a man, for a change, huh? Just try that.” She gripped the side of the wall, and hoped he wouldn’t notice.

“What are you doin’ this for?” Rob asked, squinting at her – trying just to figure out what in the world was going on in her head. He couldn’t figure it out for the life of him.

“’Cause you need to step up and be a man!” she yelled, feeling sure that he was close to a breaking point.

“What do you want?” Rob asked, completely lost. “What do you want from me?”

“Do something! God, Robby! Hit me!” Elise screamed her voice tense with expectation.

Rob stood stunned. So that’s what she was waiting for. That explained all the out of character behavior - all the goading and back talk. She was waiting to be hurt. And when he refused to give in, it had just grown worse.

“’Lisey,” Rob said quietly. “I’m not gonna hit you,” he couldn’t help it, and took a step toward her, wanting to convince her that he wouldn’t hurt her.

“Whatever,” she scoffed. Elise couldn’t stop herself from backing off, not wanting him to get too close to her.

But Rob continued to come, wanting to convince her that everything was okay.

“That’s not how a man acts,” Rob explained patiently. “Dad never hurt you, remember?”

“So, what?” Elise asked, she shook, still unable to believe that he had no intention of hurting her. Her mother’s boyfriend never betrayed any emotion whatsoever before he struck.

Rob continued to close the distance between them, knowing that this time, he couldn’t ask Kylie to help – because this was just between him and Elise. He was running on instinct, but he also knew that he had to be careful not to scare her, which wasn’t going to be easy.

Elise took a step toward him, and pushed him back. It was a bold move, which she hoped would spark a reaction so that it would just happen and be over with. She just couldn’t handle the in-between stage.

Walking around her, Rob caught her from behind, pulling her back against his chest. He backed up, and sat on the arm of the couch with her, maneuvering so they both were finally on a cushion.

Elise gritted her teeth, hating to be held, when any human contact made her feel threatened, but she refused to react. So she simply sat rigid, feeling Robby’s strong arms around her, and praying he’d just stop with the games and do what she knew he wanted to do. How could he honestly say it didn’t matter how she was treating him?

Rob kept his arms around her, feeling Elise’s whole body tense with the expectation of harm.

“I’m not hurting you,” he explained softly, in case it wasn’t clear. “This is okay. It’s not bad.”

But Elise remained as she’d been, her demeanor unchanged.

Unconsciously, he began rocking back and forth. And for the first time, Elise’s racing mind stopped suddenly.

She didn’t understand.

“What are you doing?” she asked, sniffling.

Rob shushed her, sensing that she was finally starting to relax.

In minutes, the tension in Elise’s body melted away, and she rested her head gratefully against Robby’s shoulder.

“Do you believe me now?” Rob asked so softly, she barely heard him.

She nodded, feeling ashamed that she could have ever thought her brother would hurt her.

“All I want is for you to let me know where you’re going. It’s not something to panic about,” he assured, keeping his voice calm. “I know it doesn’t matter how much I tell you that I won’t hurt you. It’s probably gonna take a while. But I’ll stick it out with you…until you know for sure.” Rob kissed the top of her head, and finally, he could let himself relax as well.

“I didn’t know,” Elise whispered. “I thought I did something right for once. And it was never like this with Mom, so how was I supposed to know?” she asked brokenly. “They were always trying to get me to leave…They never asked where I was going…they never cared,” she said again, wanting someone to understand her position.

“When you were little, Mom wanted to know where you were,” he reminded, playing with her hair absently. He didn’t want to do anything to ruin the moment of closeness and honesty they shared.

“That was before,” Elise scoffed, wiping tears off her face.

“I know, but I’m just telling you,” Rob tried to keep his trademark laid-back demeanor in place, even at the mention of their mother, and the implication of the man he hated more than he had hated anyone, ever. “There was a time when it mattered, and this is another time when it matters.”

“But she never cared if I went anywhere!” Elise persisted, feeling her tears come fresh now. This lecture about old rules and new rules meant little. She only the pain of being ignored, and being systematically alienated from her home and what family she had left. She wept at the pain of not being wanted, and now that she was wanted, it hurt in a whole new way.

“I know she didn’t.” Rob spoke quietly, not understanding her need to perseverate on this point.

“She wanted me to go…she never stopped him from it. He always said I should just leave, and when I wouldn’t, he’d come after me…she never stopped him, so she must’ve wanted me gone, too.” Elise hoped she was making sense, and that Robby could understand.

Again, Rob found himself holding back. He saw red immediately, and it tumbled within him merging instantly with the guilt he carried within him daily, at letting Elise stay in a place where she was being hurt – and for not even suspecting it. He’d seen the bruises and bought every one of her excuses for them. He’d never questioned her about anything, because all Rob had energy to do was be furious with his mother for having another man in her life. He held Elise a little tighter, and told her the only words that came to his mind in that moment.

“I want you here, okay? I really do. I don’t want you to feel like I don’t. I’m sorry I scared you, and made you feel like you had to run. I wasn’t paying attention. But just because I yelled doesn’t mean I want you to leave, okay?” It killed Rob to have to have this conversation with her. It wasn’t right that so much had been taken away from her, all the way down to her feeling of security in a home.

Elise nodded, finally allowing herself to start believing his words. He wouldn’t be holding her like her daddy used to if he didn’t mean what he said.