Chapter 14: Fire Breather

 Carter woke up the next morning feeling the worst. Really bad. Not sick. Actually bad. Like, inside. That feeling was the same one that made him have to move four times in a year before he came here. He'd been here too long anyway. His parents didn't want him, so why should anyone?

He got out of bed and walked over to Josh, his best friend since he got here, Josh who would listen to anything and never tell his secrets. Carter pinched him hard on the arm and threw Daniel Tiger across the room.

Josh woke up crying, and Carter made himself not care. People didn't care about him, so why care back? He slammed the door open and stomped across the hall to pound on the bathroom door.

“I'll be a little bit. You'll have to wait or go downstairs,” Emma called.

Carter scowled and kicked the door. She couldn't just take it over and use up all their water. That wasn't fair and he had to pee. He stomped downstairs, knowing Liv had gotten up to check on Josh.

He never usually got to pee downstairs, because it was the girls' bathroom. He left the seat up and he didn't wash his hands.

Then he went right to the kitchen and stood on a chair to get the cereal. He was supposed to let the adults get it but it was 7:42 and too early for breakfast. So the adults said, but Carter could do whatever he wanted.

“Morning,” Liv greeted. “How about if you get dressed first and I'll get you some breakfast?”

“How about not?” Carter challenged moodily. “I can do it myself.”

“Carter,” she said it like it meant something. Like he was just supposed to listen and do what she said.

“Olivia,” he said back in the exact same voice.

She raised her eyebrows. “I know things probably feel very confusing today, but I promise, the same rules apply. We will make sure you have food and we'll take care of you.”

“Whatever,” he shrugged, turning away and bringing the box of Apple Jacks to the table. He didn't believe a word she said. He wasn't going to believe a word any adult said. It used to be that he knew better than to trust them so he wouldn't be let down, but he'd forgotten about doing that because William and Grace and tricked him by being so nice to him. It wasn't fair. Now it hurt worse, remembering that he really couldn't trust anybody.

Carter didn't get dressed, he just started to eat. When he was done, he dragged a chair to the counter and stuck a piece of bread in the toaster. If anybody came up and tried to use it, he was going to make them wish they hadn't.

Josh was crabby – from being pinched awake probably – and he wouldn't let go of that stupid tiger. Carter was glad Josh was going to be gone visiting his real family this morning. Carter didn't want to keep picking on him, but it would be hard if he was right here the whole time.

Olivia had been trying to say stuff to him but Carter blocked her out. He focused on the back of the cereal box. He had his toast, with peanut butter and jelly. He knew it wasn't going to be enough, but oh well.

Carter heard the bathroom door open and knew Emma would be coming out here soon. Olivia was busy trying to get Josh to eat and not looking at Carter. Calmly, he got up with his empty cup, filled it with water and spilled it on the floor right where Emma was going to walk in.

Nobody saw.

Carter didn't care if they did.

Just like he thought, the second Emma put one crutch in the kitchen, and not noticing the floor was wet, it slid right out from under her and she crashed to the floor.

“Sorry,” he said in a mean voice, really not sorry at all.

–

The sound Emma made hitting the ground was epic. It sounded like a giant falling, not a twenty-two year old who was on the small side. Her crutches slamming to the linoleum increased the noise so much. Josh was crying. She wasn't sure if that had been going on before she fell or because of it. She wasn't sure what happened. Obviously, the floor had been wet, but...

“Carter Fox,” Liv said in the most serious voice she had.

Emma was busy backing onto the carpet where she could get some traction and dry off her crutches. She hadn't seen anything suspect prior to falling, but then again, she had been focused on getting to the kitchen to help Liv with keeping an eye on the kids who were already up, or figuring out what they could do for breakfast.

“What?” he said and Emma was thinking the same thing. He was just hanging out in the kitchen in Superman pajamas. Maybe he'd just finished eating early. With his contact going the way it had, it was no wonder if he wanted to eat sooner. But Liv must've seen something Emma hadn't.

“Did you put water on the floor?” Liv demanded, and Emma looked at Carter, questioning.

He smiled. “So what if I did? It was funny.”

Emma's cheeks flushed. It was a lot of things, but most definitely not funny. She wasn't hurt physically, but the idea that someone would willingly do something to cause her to fall shook her up. It reminded her a little too much of home, and a culture where she was forced to walk back and forth in front of an expectant church congregation, who all waited for the miracle of Emma being healed.

It didn't seem to matter that her disability was present from birth, or that it was a result of brain damage, which could not be reversed. These people seemed to think it was perfectly okay to encourage her to walk back and forth at the front of the sanctuary, with her walker taken away. Emma remembered trying to keep a grip on the pastor's fingers, as he kept trying to let go.

It had been so embarrassing. And worse, when it didn't work? She had gotten lectured on the way home that she had been the embarrassment. Her lack of faith had been the reason nothing had happened.

Did she like being crippled?

Did she want to live this way?

It hadn't mattered that she was only eight years old.

Emma felt every inch of that shame, staring at Carter's smug expression. The muscles in her legs were extra tight with the emotion she was feeling. She walked around the long way and entered the kitchen where the floor was dry, sitting next to Josh.

“I'm okay,” she reassured him.

“Fall,” he sobbed. “Okay?”

“Yeah, I'm okay. I promise. It was loud, but I'm not hurt,” she reassured patting his hand. He patted hers in return, letting Liv deal with Carter for now. Emma was still too raw for that.

–

“What was that?” Oliver asked, his eyes darting everywhere.

“I slipped and fell,” Emma explained.

This explanation did little to reassure him and Oliver still looked a little panicky until Zoey came upstairs actually laughing.

“Honeys! Guess what?”

Oliver watched as Charlie clapped a hand over her mouth. Oliver remembered doing the same thing less than a week ago. Zoey, it seemed, remembered nothing.

“Gross! Charlie whined. “Emma, she licked me! What if you have rabies?” She turned accusing eyes to Zoey.

“Don't put your hands on people without permission,” Emma shrugged.

Charlie scowled and went to wash her hands.

“Honeys! Listen! Ari? She went to sit down and go pee...and she almost fell in!”

Ari sent a withering look Zoey's way. “Thanks for announcing it.”

“You're welcome,” Zoey smiled sweetly.

–

Meanwhile, Liv was watching the clock, aware that Josh was going to be picked up for contact in a half hour and he wasn't dressed and hadn't had his teeth brushed. Still, she knew Carter needed immediate consequences for what he had done. She set him up at the kitchen island with a pencil and a piece of notebook paper, with the sentence, “I will not hurt people on purpose,” written across the top.

“What's this say?” she quizzed.

Carter shrugged.

“It says 'I will not hurt people on purpose.' You're going to write it on every line of the front of this paper.

“What'd he do?” Noah asked.

“Make...Memma...Fall...” Josh managed, determined to get the message across.

Noah raised his eyebrows. “You made Emma fall? What's wrong with you?”

“Thank you, Noah, I've got it covered.” Liv said, dismissing him to go eat breakfast.

“Anybody seen Harper?” Emma asked.

“No,” the girls chorused.

Liv watched as Emma made her way down the stairs to check on her. Then she got Josh and hurried through brushing his teeth, which he hated, and getting him dressed, which he also hated.

“Here. I'm done,” Carter grunted, walking in twenty minutes later and waving a piece of paper in her face.

Olivia glanced at it. His normally careful printing was barely legible and he had intentionally used pen. That wasn't the only thing he did intentionally.

[Image is: Carter's sentences, which read: I will hurt people on purpose.]

“You're not done. This isn't what your consequence was.” Liv had to hurry. The social worker was going to be there any minute. The second she rushed out to deliver him to the social worker, with Josh crying and trying to hold on to her, still, Carter slammed the bedroom door at her back.

–

“Harper? It's Emma. Are you okay?”

Groaning, Harper rolled over. The little stomachache she'd been battling had turned epic. “I just don't feel good. I think I'm gonna stay home today, is that okay?”

“Sure, that's fine. Do you need anything? Water?”

“No, thanks. I can get it.”

Harper wasn't getting anything.

She planned to curl up in a ball and sleep. But curling up hurt. And so did spreading out. She wished this stupid stomachache would just hurry up and go away. She'd had it forever, but this was the worst yet.

Harper decided she would just stay here and not move until it went away.

–

Carter didn't care what Olivia said. His consequence was all over. He did the stupid sentences and he did them honestly. What was the point of writing a lie for a whole page? Writing it wasn't going to make it true. He sat against the door, wishing there were two of him, so he could block both doors.

Olivia came in and crossed her arms. He threw Legos at her.

“Get out!” he screamed.

“First,” she said, standing her ground. “You need to get dressed. Then, you need to rewrite your sentences correctly. After that, I want you to do your chores.”

“No!” he threw Captain America. “I'm not doing anything you say!”

“I'm not fighting with you. I'm going to be with everyone else. And they are all excited about making cards after snack this morning. You know what do do if you want to participate, too.”

“I still get a snack!” he screamed.

“Yes, you always get a snack,” she confirmed. “If you need to go out and stomp on some cans, you're welcome to, provided your dressed, with your coat and boots on.”

“I'm going outside with nothing,” he challenged. “Just pajamas!” He kicked Legos at her. Then he ran out the door she wasn't in front of.

“Noah, catch him, please,” Liv called, spotting her cousin just coming out of his own bedroom. Wordlessly, and it seemed, effortlessly, Noah snagged Carter by the hand. He went boneless and started sobbing.

“Thank you,” Liv said. “Would you mind sticking around a while longer?” she asked, pleading with her eyes .

Noah sighed. “As long as it's not all day.”

“It won't be,” Liv reassured.

Just when she thought it was okay to walk away from Carter, he made a beeline for the deck door and started pulling. Without being asked, Noah intervened, wedging himself between Carter and the handle and standing guard.

“Move!” Carter screamed, struggling to push Noah out of the way and failing. “I'm running away!”

“The Sanchez-Brown's will see you,” Ari advised. “And then Liv will just take the car and follow you.”

Liv watched and Carter's shoulders sagged. He turned on her. “Then kick me out!” Tears streamed down his face. “Do it! I broke the rules! I was violent!”

Unexpectedly, Noah spoke up. “The other day? I broke the rules, too. I didn't get kicked out. Know what I did do? I did what I was told. And today I can do fun stuff again.”

“You're not a foster kid. They can't kick you out for being bad,” he said losing some of his fire. He sat down on the floor. “I wanna leave!” he sobbed.

--

“Carter?” Emma asked. She put her crutches down and came on the floor next to him. She knew it was all about timing. That trying to confront him right after he'd spilled the water and right after she'd slipped would have been the wrong move. She couldn't confront him when he was so angry. But now that the real emotion was coming up, she could deal with that.

“Leave me alone,” he said, turning away.

“You doing what you did with the water? That wasn't nice, and I think you know that, but it's not going to get you kicked out,” Emma said.

“You don't know!” he gasped.

“I do know. I'm the one who got hurt because of it. You know what is gonna happen?”

Carter shook his head.

“I'm going to get some bruises. I'm going to feel embarrassed,” she explained. “It's probably going to be hard for me to trust you for a while.”

He turned, surprised.

She rolled the leg of her pants slowly until a bruise on her knee was evident. But Emma knew the bruises would be the first things to heal. Everything else would take longer. Some wounds would never heal, like those memories from church with her parents as a little girl. But Carter didn't need to hear about that. She waited, seeing where he would take the conversation.

“Why would you feel embarrassed?” he asked, sounding angry.

Emma shrugged. “I used to fall a lot. People used to make me feel bad about that. When I fall now, sometimes I think about that.” She paused. “I know you're hurting. I know you're angry. But I don't think you're angry at me, are you?”

He shook his head. “I don't wanna talk about it.”

Nodding, Emma stayed quiet for a while and then speaking again. “Can I ask you a question? Did making me fall help you? Did it take away what was hurting you.”

“Made me feel strong. Like I could do something, instead of doing nothing.”

“Picking on people smaller or weaker than you?” Emma said seriously. “That doesn't make you stronger. That just makes you a bully.”

“The Hulk does it,” Carter said quietly.

“The Hulk makes people slip in water and pinches them?” she asked, looking him right in the eyes.

“No, but he gets mad and can't control it and he hurts people. That's like me,” Carter nodded.

Emma cocked her head. “Didn't The Hulk eventually learn to control his anger, and use it only when it would protect other people?”

“I guess,” Carter nodded. “Hey, how did you know that?”

“Did you think you were the only one who liked superheroes?” she asked, sending him a smile. “So what do you think? Can you make a good choice and get dressed right now? I think Noah would really like to give his legs a rest and not have to guard that door all day.”

“I'm gonna put on my Hulk shirt,” Carter nodded. He hoped he could find his green sweatpants and green socks too.

“So, I can go?” Noah asked.

“Yes, you can go,” Emma nodded. “Thanks for the help. Hey, by the way, did you leave Carter some of the bathroom chores to do.”

“Oh yeah,” Noah nodded.

–

Carter got dressed and got his coat and boots on and then he dumped out all the cans and smashed every single one. He still felt angry inside, but a little bit less. He didn't want to have to redo his sentences, but he also didn't really feel like hurting people on purpose anymore. He didn't want to be a bully. He knew some bullies. His real dad was a bully. He didn't ever want to be like him.

Liv was watching from inside. “Do I still have to do those other things even though I got dressed?” he asked.

“What do you think?” she asked.

“Probably?” he raised his eyebrows.

“You got it.”

Carter rewrote all his sentences the right way this time, even though his hand was hurting from writing too much. He did that and then quick cleaned off the kitchen island and swept the floor and cleaned the mirror and the sink in the bathroom.

It turned out there was more things he had to do, like brush his teeth and make his bed and pick up the toys he threw. But Carter wanted his snack on time and he didn't want to have more consequences and chores to do after snack, so he hurried the fastest ever to get everything done.

He did it all in time for snack and got to have a chocolate chip granola bar. Carter felt tired, and kind of like crying. Everything he did didn't change that his mom and dad didn't come and didn't care about him. Emma and Noah saying he wouldn't get kicked out didn't mean he for sure wouldn't. That was up to William and Grace when they got home.

Carter sat at the table with Oliver, Zoey, Charlie and Ari and a bunch of paper and crayons. Oh yeah, they were making cards. Carter knew who he was going to make his for, especially after Liv explained that cards could be used to express feelings. Like get well soon, or sorry, or encouragement.

Liv was making a card for her grandma. Ari was making a card for Dudley. Oliver was making a card for somebody Carter didn't know. Zoey was making one for Pinkie Pie, of course. Charlie was making one for her mom that was super secret and no one could even look at it. Emma was making one, too, and when he asked she said it was for Liv's grandma, too.

He was going to give his card to Emma.

Carter worked very hard on it, putting all his feelings and being sorry into it. He thought about making ones for Liv and Josh too, but that got his brain feeling too full so Carter stuck with just making one for Emma, who he'd hurt the most and was a bully to.

He thought about putting it in the box for Emma to find and then decided just to give it to her.

[Image reads: Emma I am sorry Love Carter.]

When she gave him a hug, it was the best feeling he never expected. “Thank you. I'm so glad to know you're sorry.”

“Do you still like me?” he asked quietly. “Even though I was a bully to you?'

“Yes, I still like you. You're a great person. You just made a bad choice. So, going forward? Make better ones. If you don't know what to do, ask. Remember? That's what we're here for.”

Carter nodded. “I'll try,” he said. “I'll try to remember that.”