Chapter 15: House of Mirrors

 Harper groaned and rolled over. Something didn't feel right. Her stomachache hadn't gone away and she felt...wet. Her cheeks flamed with humiliation. She hadn't done something like this since right after she moved in. But as she pulled back the blankets, Harper saw it wasn't what she thought at all.

It was so much worse.

It was blood.

Harper didn't think. She just grabbed the blankets and wrapped them around her, and then made a run for the bathroom, hoping no one else was downstairs and that she would somehow not bleed everywhere on the way.

She slammed the bathroom door and got in the shower, trying to catch her breath. She knew what this was. Of course she knew. She was eleven. It made sense. But her body remembered something else. It remembered before. When she used to bleed like this and it had nothing to do with becoming a woman or any of that crap.

There were no pads down here, because all the girls were her age and younger and none had gotten their periods. She wasn't about to go upstairs like this and check if Grace had any, not like this. Plus the idea of wearing anything like that just made her shudder.

The last time she'd been forced to wear pads was when everything started. It made her remember. God, she didn't want to remember. That was a time when all she wanted to do was curl up and die.

Harper sat in the shower, pajamas still on, blankets wrapped around her, and tried to breathe. But it felt more like she was going to hyperventilate and pass out.

Someone had to come.

But if anyone found out, Harper would be so humiliated.

She ducked her head and cried, silently, not knowing what to do. She couldn't stop shaking. She couldn't do this. Not again.

–

Emma breathed a sigh of relief once lunch was eaten, Josh was down for his nap and Charlie was out the door for contact. Having only Oliver, Ari, Carter and Zoey to watch was surprisingly easy. She had stopped downstairs and tapped on Harper's bedroom door at lunchtime, but hadn't gotten an answer. The light was off and Emma figured she was sleeping.

Honestly, the only thing Emma could hope for was that whatever Harper had wasn't contagious. The only thing worse than one sick kid would be having eight. And worse than that, what if she or Liv caught it? So far, only Harper seemed down for the count. Emma had set the alarm on her phone so she remembered to check in on Harper again in a couple hours. She'd left a can of 7Up and some crackers outside the door and kept Dudley upstairs.

Harper needed to stay hydrated at least.

For now, Emma hung out on the couch while the four kids argued about watching Mulan or Open Season. Oliver and Zoey refused to watch if they picked Open Season because of the guns. Emma gently encouraged Mulan before Carter and Zoey could lose it about not getting to watch what they wanted or having to watch something babyish.

Liv was taking care of all the chores she could in the meantime. Last Emma checked, she was putting in laundry and wishing she had thought to vacuum while Josh was at contact. Normally Harper's job, Liv had planned to do it for her today but had gotten bogged down in making meals, breaking up fights and making sure Charlie's hair and clothes were again perfect enough so her mother wouldn't be disappointed.

Emma sat back as Mulan started. Carter kicked Ari.

“Stop!” she hissed.

“I didn't!” he objected.

“Carter, come sit up here next to me,” Emma invited, knowing that he was still having a tough day, and he needed to stay close to an adult to feel secure.

“Ha! I get to sit on the couch!” Carter teased.

“Because of your Restless Legs Syndrome!” Ari shot back.

“Hey, everybody keep your voices down. The movie's starting,” Emma directed. She wished they had popcorn, but that was just asking for a mess, and she didn't think Liv would appreciate vacuuming up popcorn kernels.

–

Liv was making the rounds downstairs, gathering laundry, since Josh hadn't been home to do it, when she noticed Harper's bedroom door was open. Liv glanced in long enough to see a can of 7Up and some soda crackers on her desk, but Harper was nowhere to be found.

Forgetting about the laundry, Liv immediately went to the bathroom door and tapped on it. “Harper?” she called. “It's Liv. Are you okay?”

“Can you get Emma?” a shaky voice called back.

“Sure. Of course. You just hang tight. I'll be right back.”

Liv sped up a little, taking the steps quickly, and walking in a wide circle around the kids' feet, rather than cutting in front of the screen.

“Harper's asking for you,” Liv said softly to Emma. “I can sit with them.”

“No way. I don't wanna sit by Olive,” Carter grumbled.

“Well, too bad. 'Cause Olive wants to sit by you,” Liv said, getting comfortable. “Ooh, I love me some Eddie Murphy.”

“Who's Eddie Murphy?” Carter asked, confused.

“Oh, you are so young...” Liv smiled and then passed along to Emma. “She's in the bathroom.”

“Okay. Thanks.”

–

Emma made her way carefully down the stairs, trying to hurry but not so much that she'd fall. She'd had enough of that for one day anyway. She got to the bottom and made her way to the closed bathroom door with the light on under it. She could hear crying, and Emma's stomach lurched imagining the worst. The flu. Vomit. Or more than vomit.

“Harper? It's Emma. Are you okay?”

“No...” a broken voice came back.

“Can I come in?” she asked, even though she really didn't want to.

“No one else is out there? Just you?”

“Just me,” Emma confirmed. “Everyone else is upstairs watching a movie. Josh is asleep.”

“Okay,” Harper sniffed.

Emma pushed the door open and furrowed her brow. Harper was here, but she wasn't. Suddenly, Emma's eyes focused on the closed shower curtain. No water was running. What was she doing?

She awkwardly perched on the edge of the closed toilet and waited. Slowly, Harper pulled the shower curtain aside. The moment she saw Emma she burst into fresh tears.

“I'm sorry!” she cried.

“Hey, what are you sorry for?” Emma asked, thoroughly confused. The sight of Harper sitting on the bone dry shower floor wrapped in blankets, pale, shaking and crying wasn't a sight Emma expected.

“I can't talk about it,” Harper gasped.

“Being sick?” Emma asked, not understanding.

“No...I did already. I talked about it and nothing changed and now I'm here and everything sucks and I just want it to stop...” Harper sobbed.

“Want what to stop?” Emma asked quietly.

“I thought it was over. I thought he couldn't do it to me, but why is this happening?”

Slowly, Emma's focus sharpened. The hair on the back of her neck stood up.

“Harper. Who are you talking about?” she asked seriously, dreading the answer.

“Him... The stupid guy my mom remarried after she divorced William...” she managed, breathing too deep and ragged.

“You thought he couldn't do what to you?” Emma asked, somehow so calm, though her heart was racing.

“Hurt me. Make me do stuff. Like he used to...” she admitted in a tiny voice.

“Did you see him recently? Did he hurt you?” Emma asked, hating the questions but knowing they had to be asked.

“No! But I'm bleeding! And the last time I was bleeding like this was the night I ran away and came here!”

Emma felt frozen as Harper moved the blankets and revealed what she'd hidden beneath them. A scary amount of blood for any child to encounter, especially if they had a history of sexual abuse. Emma was pretty sure of what was going on here but had to be sure. “You haven't been hurt in over a year...and you're eleven... Have you ever heard about what happens when girls mature? What happens to our bodies? Maybe in health class at school?”

“Yes,” Harper answered.

“You said you've had a stomachache and were craving sweets all week... You've been kind of emotional...”

“I guess...” Harper managed.

“You are not in danger. This is your period. It's totally normal. I can understand why it seems scary, though.” Emma got down on the floor just outside the shower. “Can I hold your hand?”

Harper nodded and when Emma took it, it was ice cold.

“It's going to be okay. I'm going to ask Liv to bring you something from the upstairs bathroom, okay? Do you know how to use feminine products?”

“He used to make me. After. To hide the blood,” Harper admitted.

“Well, I'm not going to make you. When you're ready, you can shower and dress. Would you like me or Liv to find you something comfortable to change into? Are there any pajamas you like?”

“My new blanket's ruined,” Harper said, tears still falling.

“We can fix it. If you want, Liv or I can take your things and get them cleaned for you, and give you something clean and nice to change into...”

“Okay. Just sweats is fine.” Harper nodded.

“Can I ask you something?” Emma wondered cautiously.

Another nod. Harper's fingers dug into Emma's hand.

“Did you ever tell anyone he was hurting you?”

“I told my mom on my birthday last year, after the last time. She didn't believe me, and said if I was gonna talk like that I could get out and not come back...so I came here...”

Emma pressed her lips together firmly. “Then I can imagine how much courage it took you to tell me. That was really brave and I want you to know that none of this is your fault. How long had this been happening to you?”

Harper sighed. “Since he first moved in. At first it was just little stuff. By the time I was eight, though, he was doing stuff that made me bleed...”

Emma closed her eyes. “I have to report this. That means William and Grace will find out and I'd like to tell Liv, so we can help you the best we can until your parents get back. Is that okay?”

Harper grabbed Emma around the waist and held on. “I want him to go to jail so bad. But he always said no one would ever believe me...”

“I believe you.”

“Before you report it, I have stuff for the police. Can I take my shower first and then I can show you?”

“Of course.”

“Emma?”

“What?”

“The other kids don't have to know, right? Lexie doesn't even know.”

“The only way the other kids will know is if you choose to tell them. The only people I'm telling are people who need to know.”

Harper nodded. “Can you stay? Like, guard the door for me? Make sure nobody comes in while I'm in here?”

“Of course. I won't leave until you say it's okay. Should I get Liv to grab you some sweats?”

“Yes, please...”

Unsteadily, Emma got up and took her phone out to send a text to Olivia. The kind of text she never wanted to send.

–

Olivia's phone buzzed and she glanced down at it, doing a double take:

911. H disclosed. Need u asap. Need plastic bag, sweats, undies and socks from her room for her to change into.

She didn't think, she just called the Sanchez-Brown's to see if the remaining kids could come over, so she and Olivia could take care of Harper and talk to the police and the Gallagher's. Zee and Liz were great and arrived in five minutes, making a big show of inviting the kids over for the luau party they were having. They just needed guests. All the kids jumped at the chance. Charlie was home now and Josh was awake. Only Noah was still out and Liv sent him a text directing him to stop by Liz and Zee's for dinner.

Then, she went downstairs with a plastic garbage bag and stopped by Harper's room to find clothes for her. Olivia found Emma, sniffling quietly outside the bathroom. The shower was running.

“Should she be showering?” Liv asked. She loved nothing more than a good marathon of Law & Order SVU or Criminal Minds. She knew evidence could get washed away in the shower. The idea made her insides clench. Who would hurt an eleven year old child?

“It's not current. It's from before she moved here, but she just got her period and it triggered her into remembering the aftermath of her abuse and being forced to wear feminine products at eight to hide the bleeding,” she whispered. “Oh yeah, please tell me Grace has pads or something upstairs. I didn't bring any.”

“I didn't either, but I can run to the store if Grace doesn't have them. Does she know we have to tell CPS?”

“She knows.” Emma nodded.

–

Harper stood under the spray of the shower for a long time. She knew she would never feel clean. She kept shaking her head, wondering if that just really happened? Did she really just tell Emma that that creep hurt her for three years? Did Emma really believe her?

When she finally came out of the shower, she found fresh clothes and a pad on the sink. Emma had knocked partway through and asked if she could reach her arm in and leave the things on the sink. After making sure no one else was there, too, Harper gave permission. It was like the nicest present.

Harper had no idea why Emma was being so nice to her. She ventured out with the plastic bag and Liv offered to take it and clean her clothes and blankets for her. They told her all the kids had gone to Liz and Zee's to have dinner and hang out for the night.

Harper felt like she could breathe easier.

“You said you had something for the police?” Emma prompted gently, knowing they had to get the ball rolling and soon.

“Yeah, it's on my computer. He sends me emails and messages. I kept them all,” she said, walking in the bedroom and putting in the password.

She turned and looked over her shoulder to see Emma and Liv waiting, one behind the other, just to the side of her doorway.

“You guys can come in,” she invited. There was no need to keep everything on lockdown anymore.

Harper was busy opening the document and then stepped back, averting her eyes. She had labeled it Evidence just in case she was brave enough to tell again.

She listened and could hear Emma and Liv gasp at the number of pages.

“I'll call now,” Emma said.

“What if they don't do anything and he finds out and gets mad?” Harper asked, feeling worried. “What if he comes after me? Or the other kids?”

“Child Protective Services job is to protect kids,” Emma said, knowing that no matter what she said, it would likely not put Harper's nerves at ease.

“They won't take me away, will they? I mean, William and Grace haven't hurt me.”

“They're only interested in the person who hurt you. They might have questions for William and Grace, but their focus will be elsewhere. Can you tell me his name?” Emma asked.

Harper shook her head, but nodded to the screen of her computer, where his name was visible in his email address. A message from 2012. When Harper was just eight years old.

--

Emma stepped out, got on the phone, and made the most difficult call she'd ever had to make, knowing that Liv would soon make her own, calling Grace and William to tell them what had happened to Harper.

She was instructed to send an email to a certain address with a detailed account including what was said, Harper's age and date of birth and the names and dates of birth of anyone else living in that household. Emma attached Harper's evidence file as well, explaining in the email that Harper had wanted it passed along.

It took Emma two hours to write up the email and she heard back immediately saying the screeners would look it over and get back to her as soon as possible. They had settled Harper on the couch in front of a marathon of Girl Meets World on the Disney Channel, with water and a few snacks.

Liv came out of Grace and William's room, her face drawn and pale, offering the phone to Harper, who took it and said hello softly.

–

“Honey,” William said, sounding different than Harper had ever heard him. “I'm so sorry.”

She just listened, not knowing what to say. Then, it came to her. “Do I have to leave?”

“Of course not. Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I guess. Emma and Liv are taking care of me. Are you mad?”

“Not at you. Never. Grace and I are trying to work things out here so we can be home as soon as possible but it likely will still be Friday morning before we're home.” He paused and cleared his throat. “Will you be okay until then?”

“Yeah.” Harper said. It was weird just how okay she felt. Like the hugest weight had been lifted off her shoulders. Like she could breathe. Like this wasn't all on her anymore. Other people knew. Other people cared. They believed her.

“Okay. I love you. And we're gonna get you help,” William promised.

“Okay,” she answered.

It was more than she could have hoped for.

Harper spent the rest of the afternoon cuddled on the couch with Emma at her side watching Disney shows and taking it easy. Liv had gone to the store and bought her fuzzy socks and some other stuff. It was calm and felt safe. Her Christmas blanket was soaking in the giant utility sink full of Oxy Clean. Liv swore by the stuff. It was gonna be good as new.

She breathed, and winced a little at the cramps she felt.

“You feeling okay?” Emma asked, and it felt so weird to have people just caring about her and how she was doing all the time. She thought of earlier this week and how mad she'd been about Emma talking to Noah and not to her.

“Not really. We can just tell the kids I'm sick, right? We don't have to say...like...everything?”

“I think that sounds just right,” Emma nodded.

Harper pulled the blanket on the couch closer around her and Liv came out to join them sitting on the other side of Harper on the couch. She sighed. She couldn't remember the last time she'd felt this safe, surrounded by people who cared about her and what happened to her, and cared enough to actually do something about it.

Maybe the rest of her life could be different now. Maybe it didn't have to be one long, dark road to nowhere. Harper leaned her head on Emma's shoulder and relaxed as Emma stroked her head gently. Harper felt her eyes drift closed.

She wished her whole life had been just like this.